http://www.chfi.com

Gord here…

I type this blog on the eve of the yearly CHFI Oldies Dance at the Sheraton Centre. I am pounding back the tall, cold glasses of water and trying to catch my breath. I have just finished a unique workout and I’d thought I’d share it with you.

Every month at the Old Mill, the Wiseguys put on a little show called the Saturday Night Oldies show. During the show I do a quick Elvis act, I come out to the fanfare, shake around like a leaf on a fuzzy tree, then leave the stage in a whirlwind of fist pumps and sideburns.

The other Wiseguys will tell you that it leaves me a little winded…well a lot winded. I am in not-so-good-shape. Earlier this month I purchased an Elvis-like jumpsuit from the fine folks at Graceland (Elvis’ beloved mansion). I go and try it on and let’s say it’s a little snug around the belly area. It was then when I started my new workout program and that is The Elvis Stage Act.

To make sure I have my moves correct for the 2 Oldies dances in consecutive nights, I have been doing shoulder shaking, arm windmills and lip curls to Elvis’ 1970’s concert albums. I have dropped a few pounds and more importantly increased my stamina. It will make it easier for when I do take the stage tomorrow night and Saturday night, Mike Cooper isn’t by the phone with 9-1 already dialled just in case.

General here…

Do you ever watch a movie and see a late actor, and say to yourself  “I miss him.”
We were watching “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” on the weekend and I realized I still really, really miss John Candy - especially since my kids get such a kick out of  him too.
We’ve watched Uncle Buck probably a dozen times - and so this movie was an easy sell for them.
Aside from the bad 80s synthesized soundtrack, it holds up well.
I start giggling when he and Steve Martin are driving the burnt out car down the highway. When the cop pulls them over and asks them if they think this vehicle is fit for the road - John Candy’s deadpan response of  “Yes - yes I do” just makes me bust - I don’t know what it is.
But I do - I miss him. I can’t believe it’s been 14 years since he died of a heart attack in his sleep.

General here…
You know how the newer vehicles have climate control - where driver and passanger can have different temperature settings?
Aside from the timer on the microwave, and air conditioning itself - I believe this to be the most important invention ever to mankind.

The lovely Anita likes to be warm, warm, warm. I get that. But I like to be cool, cool, cool.
We are about 10 degrees apart.
She’s more comfortable in 30 degree weather. I like it closer to 20.

Actually - as far as I know - the greatest most splendiferous invention is yet to come.
The climate controlled bed.
Gone will be the days when I have to sleep - boiling - with one foot out of the covers, window open, fan on high - only to look over at the sleeping Anita - freezing - curled up in the fetal position, covers pulled up to her nose - her eyebrows frowning like she’s in pain.
 

General here…

Yes - Ted Danson was in-studio this morning with Erin & Mike, and all I can say is - what a nice guy!

It’s always interesting when famous people come into the building - interesting to see how the office reacts - and interesting to see how the guest reacts.  
I met him and his people (2 PR-types and a photographer) in our lobby and before I could even get him into our studio…
A woman got on the elevator, looked at him, and very matter of factly said “Hi Becker”.  Just like that.
We got off the elevator and a guy on our floor shouted “Sam Malone!!”
Tish Iceton greeted him in the hallway and said “I watched you get shot last night”.
Three different people - three completely different show-references.
It’s funny - everyone seemed like they knew him and were in awe of him at the same time.
Thanks Ted - now we know how people must feel when they meet…
The Wiseguys!!

General here…

D’you ever get those joke emails about the differences between Men and Women?
Like, How To Shower Like A Man / How To Shower Like A Women, etc… 
Well - I have my own personal take on this gender issue, so without further adieu - I give you…

How 4 Women Party on a Saturday Night.
(As my wife, the Lovely Anita, did with three friends a couple of weeks ago)

Invite friends over at 8pm.
Put out stone-ground, lightly salted, extra-thin tortilla crisps on fancy platter with Artichoke dip.
Put 3 types of crackers on second platter with a selection of cheeses, including the really stinky kind.
Cube Watermelon, Honeydew, Cantaloupe and Pineapple and place on another frickin’ platter with yogurt dip.
Open bottles of Chardonnay and Merlot.
Break out Z-stemmed martini glasses and rim with pink-coloured sugar stuff.
Pour in Apple Liqueur, Triple Sec and Vodka.
Consume until you decide which character from Sex And The City represents you best - although - even under the influence, no one fesses up to being most like that tramp, Samantha. Then, there’s talk about renting a limo, going out for dinner, and then to the Movie Premier at the end of May.
The evening ends at 2:30am when one person is still talking, but the other three have fallen asleep.

How 4 Men Party on a Saturday Night
(As Mike, Gord, Rob and I did this past weekend)

At 1pm - even though you are indoors and have access to a working fridge - fill a cooler with 24 beers and 2 bags of ice.
Put jug-like bottle of Crown Royal on counter beside the Coke and Ginger Ale.
Put several bags of chips and 4 dips on table.
6 Hours later…four drunken Leaf fans cheer on the Montreal Canadiens in their quest for The Cup - their paper plates overflowing with Steak & Shrimp, Potato, Corn on the Cob, and Caesar Salad.
After the game - and the series - is lost - do what Leaf fans do best…shtand in the rain with a shigar and a shot of cognac and shay g’bye to another hockey season.
10pm - Fall into bed fully clothed - arms and legs stretching out over three sides.