http://www.chfi.com

General here…
Have you heard?
Elton John is coming to Kitchener and Sudbury - tickets go on sale this Friday (Feb 1) at 10am through www.ticketmaster.ca.

As someone who has seen many, MANY concerts over the years - over 100 for sure - I would say if you are even considering going to see Elton live, you owe it to yourself to go.  He has to be one of the greatest performers I’ve ever seen. His catalogue of music speaks for itself - so many great ballads, but so many rockers as well. And his show really is more of a journey than your typical concert.
From the crazy-big rock-show ending of Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting to the lone spotlight as he hits the first notes of Rocket Man…
“She packed my bags last night, pre-flight…Zero hour, 9am…”
Come on, that’s showmanship!

I’ll never forget Bennie And The Jets. It’s one of my all-time favourite concert moments.
Just that signature beginning - the pounding on the piano - the bass and drums in time- and the lights pulsing on every deliberate chord…
BAHMP BAHMP BAHMP BAHMP BAHMP BAHMP - BUM BUM BA-DAAH DUM…

What’s amazing too is that I’ve never owned an Elton John album or CD, yet I knew every single song - simply from hearing them on the radio over the years. 
Proof that you don’t have to be a huge fan to enjoy the show.

So…
Really - if you’re on the fence - should you go? Should you not?
Do it. Go. Thank me later. Buy me something with BBQ sauce on it.

General here…
Got a joke sent to us from Maria - I laughed out loud, so I thought you’d enjoy it as well.
Have a great weekend!

The Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has opened in Toronto, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
“That’s nice,” she thinks, “but I want more.”
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,112 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are difficult to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love makin’ whoopie.
The second floor has wives that love makin’ whoopie, have a lot of money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

General here…

I don’t pretend to know a lot about the Afro-centric school issue.  It’s not for me to decide whether it’s right or wrong - but, I do wonder - if he was still alive - what would Martin Luther King Jr. think of all of this?
Is a black-focused school system what he meant when he said that he hoped that one day his children would live in a nation where they would not be judged by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their character?  That one day, little black boys and black girls would be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers?
Is this what he was talking about?

Hey there - it’s the General…

I love being a dad. I really do. My kids make me laugh.
My daughter, Ava, is 5. My conversations with her are hilarious.
She is SO sweet.
I tell her that she’s allowed to turn 6, but then that’s it. No more birthdays.
I don’t even want to imagine five years into the future.
But for now - I could talk to her all day.

We were in the car and she wanted to play I Spy. 

She starts: I spy with my little eye - something that is blue.
Me: Is it that store sign?
No.
Is it that guy’s jacket?
No.
Is it that car over there?
No.
Is it your school bag?
No.
Is it this? Is it that? Is it yada yada yada?
No. No. No. No.
Well I give up - what is it?
She says: The sky.
I say: Well, normally that’s true, but it’s raining - so the sky isn’t blue today - it’s grey.
Oh.
My turn: I spy with my…
She cuts me off: No daddy - I want to go again.
Ok.
She starts up again: I spy with my little eye - something that is grey.
Grey? Is it the sky?
All proud and smiling, she says: Yes!

Honestly, it’s like talking to Gord sometimes.

Dear Leaf Management;
Here’s the deal.
I’m almost 42 years old and I’d like to see the Leafs win the Cup before I die.
I was ten when my family moved to Scarborough from the East Coast - and I’ve bled Blue & White since Sittler’s 10-point night in ‘76.
I have every ticket stub from every game I’ve ever attended.
I cried when the Gardens closed.
I brought my then-7-week-old son to MLG the day before the closing ceremonies - just so he could say one day that he had been in that building while it was still alive. 
It meant that much to me.

In the last 32 years, you’ve had four promising seasons - ‘78, ‘93, ‘94 and ‘02 - with a lot of “we’ll get ‘em next year” BS afterwards.
Watching the Leafs play over the holidays was downright turn-the-TV-off-and-go-to-bed disgusting.
They’re not even close.
Every game is a blowout.
And guess what? I got another Leaf jersey/sweater/shirt/top for Chistmas this year.
When do you propose I proudly wear this?

How is it the Anaheim Ducks are Stanley Cup Champions? They entered the league in the 90s!
As did the Tampa Bay Lightning.
And the Carolina Hurricanes?!
They’ve all had Stanley Cup parades and Raising the Banner ceremonies - and we can’t even stumble into the playoffs?!
Are you kidding me?
Doesn’t that bother you enough to DO SOMETHING?
We are the greatest hockey city in the world - yet I have to watch VHS tapes of Dougie and Wendel to recall a time when I felt good about this team.

So my question to you is this:
How long can I reasonably expect to wait for a Toronto Maple Leaf Stanley Cup Parade?
Yes. I want a parade.
Is anyone even on the case? Has anyone considered maybe announcing a State of Emergency?
Forget declaring a Code Blue - it’s too late - this team is more like a Code Brown.

It’s simply not enough that the ACC is sold out every game.
It can’t be just about the money.
Pride should factor into this somewhere, shouldn’t it?
How can the organization have such disregard for itself? For the fans? For the city?

It’s like you Just. Don’t. Care.
Is that it?

Well, I’m beginning to feel that way too.