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Gord here to kick off the week and I’ve been thinking about Celebrity status with all the stars in town for the Toronto International Film Festival.

Imagine you wake up tomorrow and you’re the star of the biggest blockbuster film on the planet. Everyone wants a piece of your time or clothing. Wouldn’t that be cool?

Better still, you go to the bank and look at your statement, you finish counting all the zeros that come after the 25 instead of before it. Your assistant tells you that you’ve got to get ready for the big gala opening of your movie tonight and you’re invited to Brad and Angelina’s house after the show…Wow! That would be a great dream life huh?

Here comes the “but” and it’s a big one! Your privacy is the trade off for all the fame. Can you do it? Would you do it? Living the Celeb life in exchange for the Paparazzi taking pictures when you’re having “private time” with your spouse or kids. That’s what most of the stars in Hollywood say is the worst part of celebrity.

I have a theory in how to deal with the Paparazzi. All they want is the picture of you that they sell to the Tabloids for cash, that one picture where you’re at your worst or trying to hide from them. I say give them access to everything, don’t let them hide in the bushes, let them in. Let them take pictures and the pictures of you become not so hard to get and less important to them.

Also, be their friends…if you’re angry at them all the time, they will go to great lengths to get the one bad shot to get back at you. Maybe, hopefully, someday, I can test out my theory for myself. For now I will continue to be part of the Wiseguys…unless I branch out and try a  solo career…Hmmmmm.

Hello!  Cooper here, and its Friday! 
I love to barbecue on weekends.  I even barbecue in the dead of winter. I take barbecuing so seriously that I encourage people at the cottage to cook their own steak while standing outside with me. 
This way I’m not standing  alone outside like an idiot in a cloud of smoke and no complaining about the meat being over cooked.
Don’t you hate the liquid yellow stuff that comes out of a mustard tube on to your hot dog before the mustard actually comes out? I hate that. My tender morsel of passion fruit (my wife Deb) loves ketchup on a hot dog!  Isn’t that weird?  Some say she was raised in a cave.

Time for the Friday bloke.  Half blog/half joke.

This is the very first joke I ever told in front of an audience.  I was 10 years and  told a room full of parents at a parent/teachers night at George R. Allan public school in Hamilton.  The punchline was a little more graphic than the one you’ll read today. Several parents were horrified, others laughed hysterically.

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.

“My what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf.”, says Little Red Riding Hood.

The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away!

Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time he is crouched behind a tree stump.

“My what big ears you have Mr. Wolf.”, says Little Red Riding Hood.

Again the foiled wolf jumps up and runs away.

About 2 miles down the track, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time crouched down behind a road sign.

“My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf.”, taunts Little Red Riding Hood.

With that the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams…
“Will you buzz off kid, I’m trying to take a doodle”!

Hi-Dee-Ho friends and neighbours, Gord here and Labour Day marked the beginning of the election season south of the border. George W. Bush’s days are in fact numbered as Republicans and Democrats debate the issues and debate and debate. The Democrats have had something like 7 debates already. We also have a Provincial election on October 10 and we’ll get treated to the tap dance that is election promises. Why do they bother promising the moon, when it rarely happens? When I was old enough to vote for the first time,  I watched all the debates, wrote down what each candidate said and weighed the pros and cons between each person…now I just look at the candidates and ask myself, which one looks like a leader and can read speeches properly without embarrassing the country.
I say for the first round of debates, each candidate states their election promises. Then every debate after that should be rapid fire questions with some fun answers mixed in with hard issues like:

Improved Health Care – Yes or No?

Boxers or Briefs? Keep our troops in Afghanistan or bring them home?

Hey, it’s the General…
Yep - I got a black eye yesterday courtesy of my soon-to-be three year old son, Hayden.
We were roughing around on the floor - with the dog - when he whacked me accidently with a dvd case. Now, I’ve had a few black eyes in my day - and when you’re a young man - truth be told - we like to think it’s actually kinda cool - cause they are almost always the result of a sporting event.
When you’re 41, though, there’s no cool factor.
There’s only those first few embarrassing days of explaining it to EVERY SINGLE PERSON who sees you for the first time - your co-workers, your neighbours, your kids’ teachers, the guy in line at the Beer Store…they all wanna know…

“What does the other guy look like?” 
Well, as a matter of fact - he looks like this:

But don’t let his size fool you - he’s one tough cookie.
The funny thing is after it happened - and after my wife, Anita, was able to look at me without laughing - I knew it wasn’t all bad - because when you’re part of a morning show, there’s a general rule:
anything bad that happens to you is inevitably good for the show - even Anita knows that.
While I held the frozen bag of peas to my face, trying to watch the news with one eye - she looked at me, shook her head and said - “well, it’ll make for a good bit tomorrow morning…”
Yep - it did.