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Cooper here - and it’s Friday - Friday - Friday!
That means we need a joke of the week…

A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. After a bit, he pulls the ripcord.
Nothing happens.
He tries again.
Still nothing.
He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He pulls that cord.
Nothing happens.
He frantically begins pulling both cords, but to no avail. Suddenly, he looks down and he can’t believe his eyes. Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going up!
Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver — by this time scared out of his wits–yells, “Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?”
The other guy yells back, “No! Do you know anything about PROPANE BARBECUES!!!?”

Love ya, Buh-bye.

Welcome to Thursday…It’s your friendly neighbourhood Gord here and I’ve just read The General’s blog from yesterday about air shows. If you haven’t read it, scroll down and give it a read first before continuing.  I’ll wait. Welcome back, The General says why we need air shows? Too many disasters for what are few ooooos and ahhhhs.  

Hey there - it’s the General…
I’m sorry - am I the only one that doesn’t get the fascination with air shows?
Why do they still exist? Two planes hurtling towards each other - veering off in opposite directions at the last second…really?
I don’t know - I guess I’ve heard enough disaster stories to wonder if they’re still worth the risk.

Greetings, Gord here and I have discovered a new way for marking how far one travels. My trip last week to New York lasted just over 8 hours by car, some 8 hundred and twenty something kilometres and thanks to my iPod, 155 songs played.

Can you imagine in the future when buying a new car asking the salesperson, “How many songs per kilometre does this car average?”

My song selection in my musical universe is quite a strange collection of songs, everything from Frank Sinatra to Frank Zappa. The really strange thing is to have my whole music collection contained in a small rectangle plugged into my car stereo.  

5 short years ago to have every song in my collection in the car, would involve the whole back seat covered in CD’s, not in the palm of my hand.

During my travels I met a guy at the Sheraton Hotel Lounge from Australia and he challenged me to list my top 5 songs that I listen to on my iPod. Even if you don’t have an iPod, it’s an interesting test. What are your top 5 favourite songs of all time?

I’ll give you my top 5 as of today, which I gave my new Aussie friend:

1 - Just Pretend - Elvis Presley

2 - Detroit Rock City - Kiss

3 - Blues In The Night - Julie London

4 - One For My Baby - Frank Sinatra

5 - I’ll Wait - Van Halen

These are the songs that make me put down my iPod and listen from start to finish. So think about it, write yours down and challenge your friends. You may find your own answers and others very interesting.

Hey there - it’s The General here…

I highly recommend an old recipe I found this weekend.

You take five middle-aged guys that have known each other since high school, but rarely make the time to get together…

Add:
one Muskoka cottage  
one deck of cards
beer 
music
one bowl of peanuts - and the promise that steak is coming…

Reduce stress and let simmer.

Within 5 minutes laughter should bring tears.

Throw in a Kim Mitchell concert at the Kee to Bala, and you’ve got yourself something more than just a bunch of knuckleheads reliving their youth.

Strangely, it’s more about the future than the past.

They will genuinely understand and appreciate just how incredible it all is - friendships that began in the cafe at A.Y. Jackson 25 years ago, have seen them through engagements and weddings, first homes, births, funerals and more.

It only seems fitting they see each other rarely, because what they have is - well - rare indeed.

So…
to those affectionately known as Johnny Q, Biff Griff, BJ and Billy-tone…I salute you. 
You guys are the best.

Hey there - it is indeed Michael S. Cooper - blond haired, blue eyed Adonis of the airwaves…live from the thriving metropolis of Buckhorn.

Well, it’s Friday - so how about a joke? Actually, we call it a “Bloke” since it’s a Blog Joke. Ok, here goes…

Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.
The passenger, Bubba, said “Lookie thar up ahead, Earl, it’s a police roadblock!! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!!”
“Don’t worry, Bubba,” Earl said. “We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat.”
“What fer?”, asked Bubba.
“Just let me do the talkin’, OK?,” said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, “You boys been drinkin’?”
“No, sir,” said Earl while pointing at the labels. “We’re on the patch.”

Love ya, buh-bye!

Hey hey…Gord here from Washington DC. I have a bone to pick with Mother Nature…How come all summer there hasn’t been 3 straight days of rain…now on MY vacation it’s been drizzly and grey! It hasn’t stopped my fun as I told you about yesterday.

I drove here from Toronto which many people have said you’re going to drive in NEW YORK CITY?!!! I have found driving in New York pretty easy…you must pay attention, but with one road running one way North to South…you know the other runs South to North. So I can yell far and wide “YES! I have driven through the heart of Manhattan and all I got was more mileage on my car!”

I paused yesterday to remember my Dad, who passed away one year ago…I called my Mom and went to Sardis in New York and lifted a glass to my Pops!

Today my girlfriend, Dawn, and I will be busy with all the historic sites in Washington. I miss Toronto and the constant challenge of the Wiseguys…it’s no fun I tell you, being the smartest man in the Capital of the USA. No challenge at all.

Hey There! It’s Gord from New York City. The World we live in is great…I am sitting in the lobby of the Sheraton New York Hotel and Towers surrounded by an invisible field that allows me to connect to the internet. I am also surrounded by rain which has given me some time from my busy schedule of sightseeing to reflect on what I have seen.If you haven’t been to New York City, please make it a point to come, there are so many places to go and things to do. A guided bus tour is a must, you get such a lay of land and you can hop on and off at any time. My girlfriend Dawn and I went on a harbour cruise Monday night. We went around the southern tip of Manhattan and over to the Statue of Liberty. To be face to face with an iconic American symbol of hope and freedom to all those that first came to New York to start a new life is a pretty powerful and emotional experience. Everyone on the cruise was silent as the ship played patriotic music and we all stared in awe.
I took in a baseball game at Yankee Stadium, another awesome experience…I wandered about Times Square and saw Chicago The Musical on Broadway… yes I can be cultured! It’s not all beer and wings with the Wiseguys… I did however counter the musical with a plate of wings and an ice ice ICE cold Budweiser..oh I miss Canadian Beer.

Today I am off to Washington DC to see more iconic American sights, The Washington Monument, The White House, The Vietnam Memorial and loads more.

As far as seeing any celebrities…I saw Geraldo Rivera doing his Fox News show, and my girlfriend bumped into hockey superstar Luc Robitaille in the lobby of our hotel…I gave him a shove for being clumsy (I’m kidding).

Hey there - it’s the General again…

Last week Erin & Mike were talking about things people do in public -things they felt were just plain rude. It began a bit called “When did it become acceptable to…” spit on the sidewalk, for instance.

Yesterday, I was reminded of another one as I drove up the DVP…

When did it become acceptable to…flick your cigarette butt out your car window? Seriously. Smoke all you want - it’s your car. Why does the rest of the world have to be your ashtray?  It’s just so disrespectful.

hey there - it’s the general…

i should probably have a black eye today, but long ago - i was smart.
i married a woman with a sense of humour.

let me explain…
my wife - the woman that everyone describes as “the lovely anita” - was actually in a bit of a grumpy mood yesterday.
she told our 5 year old daughter to get her shoes on…
nothing. she kept on playing in her own world.
“ava - get your shoes on!
why do i have to repeat everything?!
doesn’t anybody in this house hear a word i say?!!”

so i open my big mouth and say “huh? sorry - what?”

silence…
followed by the head tilt down…and the stare…

oh-oh…

and then the smile - like a genuine smile…
not the just-wait-til-you-fall-asleep evil smile.
i thought for sure i was in for a smack - but no.

yeah - she’s pretty awesome…

and then we agreed that if you want your kid to pay attention - say “toys r us” before every sentence.