The Ted Henley Blog - 660News Calgary

As I write this… I’m supposed to be getting my gear together to hit the links.

Instead… I’m trying to find my snow brush.

It’s May 8th and Calgary is in for 10 to 20 cm of snow.

Brutal.

This morning on the 660News Morning show… Meteorologist David Spence was saying something about a cold front, colliding with an upper disturbance, being followed by some cold-core thing, blah, blah, blah.

Bottom line is I, and the thousands of other people DYING to swing a club, will have to wait.

The silver lining… is that courses will be lush when the snow melts and we get some sunshine!

I love my Mom.

She’s always been great to me… and she’s accepted the fact that I’m not the best at choosing gifts.

That makes Mother’s Day not stressful at all.

This year I plan to get her a nice card, possibly some flowers, and maybe even a book.

Yes… those are boring gifts… but they usually go over well.

My friends though are not as clever.

For whatever reason… the same two buddies of mine drop the ball… year after year… and nothing has improved.

I won’t name names (for my own personal safety), but here are the top-5 WORST Mother’s Day gifts given by my two friends:

5) Cooking supplies Not designer pots and pans… or fancy decorative serving dishes. I’m talking about cooking supplies like flour, sugar, and corn starch.

4) Cleaning items Things like Comet and Vim. Why? So Mom doesn’t run out of what she needs to clean the bathroom.

3) Brush and paper As in a toilet bowl brush and tissues.

2) Diet Book Yes… they gave their mother a book on how she could lose weight.

1) Nothing Zip. Nadda. They didn’t even give their mother a bag of flour.

I’m happy those two friends always forget my birthday!

Chuck Norris doesn’t grow his beard, he was born with it when he decided it was time to leave the womb.

A friend told me that. I say it’s closer to fact than fiction.

There is no way a person can grow a beard without super-human strength because the need to scratch is almost unstoppable.

I conceed defeat.

It is with great respect and admiration for the beard growers of this world that I humbly bow out.

When the Boogeyman goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

When I sleep tonight, my playoff beard will be gone.

As if I stood a chance against Chuck…

I refuse to give up.

The Calgary Flames may be out of the NHL post-season… but I am not willing to shave my playoff beard.

Yes… my neck is itchy… and my kids laugh at the “dirt” on my face… but I am enjoying the guilt-free laziness too much.

And… I save 6-minutes every morning that I don’t shave.

That’s 6-extra minutes of SLEEP!

For a guy that gets up at 3:00 AM… that’s a BIG bonus.

I’m looking across my desk at fellow blogger Cormac MacSweeney… and I see that HE still has his playoff beard.

I think Cormac is still growing his facial hair to keep warm during the cold snap.

Me… I’m going to keep growing mine until the end of the playoffs… that… or until my facial freak flag offends people.

It only takes one idiot to start what happened in Montreal last night.

It only takes one act to tarnish a city’s reputation.

Riots broke out to “celebrate” the Canadiens beating the Boston Bruins advancing to the second round of the NHL playoffs.

Cars were set on fire… shops were damaged… and there were violent clashes with police.

You can see the simpletons in action yourself on YouTube: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ef0QyrUj-bQ

Yes… it was more than one person who did all the damage… but it started as an idea in one person’s mind.

That is a sad individual.

Here’s to police using the YouTube video to catch the people responsible.

Hopefully the ringleader gets more than 2-minutes in the box.

I’m worried right now.

The Calgary Flames are on the verge of being sent to the golf course early… and that is NOT good news for my playoff beard.

To show support for the Flames… I vow to not shave until Calgary is knocked out.

I have to admit… ever since my switch from full-time tv to radio… I usually only shave once or twice a week.

But because of the playoffs… I don’t feel any guilt.

I’m hoping Calgary can beat San Jose on Sunday in Game-6… and also in Game-7 to advance to the next round.

But just in case… I’ve been rubbing my chin a lot… enjoying the thoughful facade.

Here’s to celebrating the scruff on my face… and here’s to the Flames keeping my guilt at bay.

This is my favourite time of the year.

Spring is in the air… the NHL playoffs are in full swing… and I have the PERFECT excuse to grow a beard.

Calgary is battling San Jose in Round One. The players won’t shave until their playoff run is over. I say… if they don’t have to shave for work then neither do I.

Fellow 660News Blogger Cormac MacSweeney believes in my logic.

He’s growing his playoff beard already. I have to admit… it’s not bad… but I think I can do better.

And that is our current 660News office challenge.

Who can grow the thickest, fullest beard - and not drive themselves crazy scratching the heck out of their face.

It’ll be close… young Cormac has a lot of facial hair… too bad he has a lot of grey in it.

I want my money back from City Hall.

I don’t want back ALL of the property taxes I paid last year… just my share of the $37,052 that was spent by City Managers to fill the stomachs of a select few staff members with booze and food.

Even if my share works out to 6-cents… I want those pennies back.

My property taxes should NOT be spent on alcohol and dinners at some of Calgary’s nicest restaraunts.

City Managers are extremely arrogant if they think buying fancy drinks and deserts is a justifiable way to spend taxes collected from hard working Calgarians.

I almost choked on my coffee when I read the Calgary Herald’s article breaking the story about the expensive “rewards”.

My property taxes could go up by 8-percent next year - and I’m hoping that extra cash will go toward hiring more people - and not paying for expensive scotch.

A move is on to get rid of the Canadian penny.

I’m in the minority… but I think dumping the penny would be a big mistake.

Pat Martin is the politician from Winnipeg on the campaign to drop the coin from circulation. Martin is introducing his anti-penny bill in the House of Commons this week.

I’m hoping it’s voted down… and here are my top-5 reasons why:

5) Stores should never have the legal power to round-up prices.
4) Old ladies will have nothing to count at the cash register when you’re in a hurry.
3) No pennies… means there is no chance of confusing bus drivers by dumping all that change into the fare box.
2) The end of the 1-cent tip for lousy service.
1) And the number one reason I want to keep the penny in Canada… there is nothing like paying off a $10 sports bet you made with an obnoxious buddy than with 1000 coins.

If you’re like me… then contact Pat Martin and tell him to leave the Canadian penny alone.

Here’s his contact info:

Pat Martin, NDP, Winnipeg-Centre
Parliament Hill
House of Commons
Ottawa, ON
K1A 0A6
(613) 992-5308
(613) 992-2890
martin.pat@parl.gc.ca

A lot of popular TV shows start airing new episodes beginning tonight.

That is NOT good news for my sock drawer.

For the last few months, my laundry basket hasn’t overflowed once. Why? Re-runs on TV.

The Writers Guild of America strike put many of my favourite shows behind in production.

At first, I missed shows like The Office and CSI… but I filled my time doing other things - including my laundry.

I don’t know what it would take to actually get me to do my taxes early - but it’s amazing what you can get done when you get off the couch.