Robin’s Blog

I have a serious problem with squirrels and I don’t mean that I don’t like them. I mean I have a squirrel problem. It all stems from my girlfriend, peanuts and my new place.

I moved into a new town home this spring. It was a very exciting time since I’d been living in an apartment for close to 5 years. My girlfriend had also been living in an apartment for 4 or 5 years as well. I like nature but she’s over the top with animals. I’m talking old Macdonald..the more room, the more animals we would have. So it wasn’t a big surprise to me that the day we moved in we had to go get bird feeders. The day after the bird feeders went up we needed to go get peanuts for the squirrels so that they wouldn’t eat all of the bird seed. This is when she made the decision that she was going to have a squirrel eat out of her hand. I thought it was a lofty goal but didn’t try to crush her dream of one day having a rabid animal potentially millimeters away from her fingers.

To my surprise by the end of the week she actually had one eat a peanut out of her hand. Then later in the week she had two of them eating out of her hand. Before long there were more than I could count willing to take peanuts from her. This was amusing but not concerning to me…until yesterday.

After taking a short nap at noon I decided to BBQ. Everything appeared normal in the backyard as I went outside. I turned the BBQ on and sat down and waited for it to heat up. This is where things got weird. As I sat down I noticed a squirrel come out of a tree and run purposefully towards me. He stopped about 2 feet away. Then another appeared from under the fence. 3 feet away. Then another ran from around the corner of the house. It was like a bad horror movie and instead of Zombies coming out of the woodwork it was squirrels. The gathering finally tapped out at about 5 or 6 of the furry fear mongers. The thing was they weren’t just passing by, they were there on a mission…get peanuts or kill anything that stood in their way. They all stood like statues eyeballing me wondering where the hell the peanuts were….as I slowly backed towards the door ….they slowly crept forward…Luckily I made it inside without being bitten. When I looked back outside to my astonishment the squirrels had gone…it was quiet..too quiet. Without warning from above one crawled down onto the screen on the door. (they were getting sneaky calling in air support) After hanging on the screen for a few moments the squirrel left. The only problem was that I had to go outside because there was still a steak on the BBQ and no ninja squirrel was keeping me from that. So I grabbed a handful of peanuts, opened the door, and tossed them like they were mini grenades. The squirrel’s instantly ran for them and were appeased for the moment. I finally cooked my steak and went inside.

So now I can’t go into my backyard without something for the squirrels…perhaps a slingshot would be in order!

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 2nd, 2007 at 5:36 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.