The Q92 Morning Crew

As heard on the Q Morning Crew…

It’s called the WINE RACK . . . and it’s basically a bra that you can fill up with wine . . . for those occasions when it just isn’t cool to be getting drunk. (–Like at church or your daughter’s piano recital.)

The bra is made of polyurethane . . . and it has a bladder which is able to hold an entire bottle of wine. It also has a hose and nozzle which ladies can discreetly sip from when no one is looking.

And to make a good thing even better, the wine rack serves the double purpose of increasing the wearer’s chest size by up to TWO FULL cup sizes.

The only catch is that the more you drink, the smaller your chest gets. (But the more you drink, the easier you get. . . which makes up for your decreasing chest size.)

GUYS!

There’s something for you too: The Beer Belly.

This is kind of neat: a website where you can create your own wrapping paper. Of course, you can only print it on letter size paper, but if it’s a small gift, you’re good to go. Click the Wrapping Paper button on this website right here.

It’s a cold Saturday night here, but take some comfort in knowing that southern Ontario is about to get pounded with as much as 40 cm of snow, sleet and ice pellets tonight and tomorrow. Meanwhile, Sunday in Timmins looks to be a great day, a few flurries and a high of minus 11…I’ll see you at Kamiskotia Snow Resort.

And while we’re on the weather topic, take a look at the photo in this link. Ever heard of “snowrollers”? Very cool.

This morning we were talking about how great it is to have a REAL tree at Christmas time. There’s no substitute for that fresh spruce smell…except maybe that PinSol aroma after washing the floors.

Then Q92 listener Derek emailed us a video that shows how quickly a tree can catch fire. Wow! Take a look, then read on to learn how you can fireproof your tree this Christmas. Thanks Derek.

Fireproofing Solution for your Christmas Tree

1. Once you get home with your new tree, get a saw and IMMEDIATELY make a fresh cut at the base of the tree trunk. This is mandatory for any tree you’ve bought. Make your cut about an inch above the bottom of the trunk.

2. Next, you’ll need a place to store your tree for a few days before taking it into your home, as it takes a few days for the preservative mentioned in the next step to fully saturate the tree. An ideal place would be the carport/garage or possible a balcony for apartment dwellers.

3. Immediately after making your cut from the bottom of the tree, mix the homemade preservative as follows:

Into a 2-gallon (or 1-gallon jugs) bucket, add HOT WATER from the kitchen tap. Fill the bucket to within an inch or so of the top, then add the following ingredients:
…2 cups of Karo syrup
…2 ounces of liquid chlorine bleach
…2 pinches of Epsom salt
…½ teaspoon of Boraxo
…1 teaspoon of chelated iron (pronounced KEY-lated)

Stir these ingredients thoroughly in the bucket(s); then IMMEDIATELY stand the trunk of the tree in this solution. Leave the tree in the solution containers for a day of two until you’re ready to take it indoors and decorate it.

4. After taking the tree indoors, make sure to put it in a stand with a water reservoir at the bottom. Once the tree is secured in its “final resting place”, get the bucket containing your preservative and FILL THE RESERVOIR IN THE TREE STAND TO THE TOP.

5. Last but not least, EVERY DAY, WITHOUT EXCEPTION, MAKE SURE THE RESERVOIR IS KEPT FILLED TO THE TOP WITH THE PRESERVATIVE SOLUTION.
That’s all there is to it. If you follow these steps faithfully, you will have a completely FIREPROOFED Christmas Tree to enjoy throughout the holidays.

And, for those inquisitive minds, here’s an explanation of why and how it works.
The Karo syrup provides the SUGAR, and it is only in the presence of sugar that tremendous amounts of water will be taken up by the exposed tissue at the base of the trunk. Without the sugar, only the smallest amount of water will be absorbed. However, in the presence of sugar, you can expect more than 1½ gallons of the solution to be absorbed by the tree during a 10-14 day period.

But there’s more. Thanks to the boron you have supplied (in the Boraxo), the water and sugar will be moved to every needle and branch of the tree. Remember, boron is what makes sugar move, not only in trees, but vegetables, fruits and even houseplants.
Then, there’s the Epsom salt and the chelated iron. Epsom salt is magnesium sulfate, and magnesium (together with iron) is the center molecules in the process we know as chlorophyll production. By making the magnesium and iron available to the tree, you’re assuring yourself of green needles, even if the tree was not sprayed at the tree farm before being shipped to the market.

But what about the chlorine bleach? Chlorine stops a mold from forming when water and sugar stand for any period of time. Here, the chlorine stops the mold from forming in the bucket and the reservoir of the tree stand where your preservative sits.

Benefits

1. Your tree will be SOAKING WET with water. In fact, at least 800% more water than when the tree was growing in the forest! This in turn prevents the tree from becoming a fire hazard.

2. No needles will drop, no matter what variety of evergreen you choose to display in your home. At the same time, the tree will give off a fragrance like that which you’ve sensed while walking through a forest of evergreens or strolling through the Christmas tree lot.

3. Finally, make the test yourself. When the holidays are over and the tree is taken down and moved outdoors, cut one of the branches off. Move away from the tree and try to light the branch with a match. IT WON’T BURN!!! So, take the time to fireproof your live evergreen tree this Christmas and enjoy a safe holiday!!!

Deck the halls!

Today is “International Tongue Twister Day”, a celebration of all those famously formidable phrases that are so strenuous to say. Such as …

• Which wristwatches are Swiss wristwatches, and which wristwatches are Irish wristwatches?
• The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.
• And our personal fave: I’m not the fig plucker nor the fig plucker’s son but I’ll pluck the figs till the fig plucker comes.

Think you’re good? Try some more here, or post your favourites below in the comments section.

Here’s another classy contest: The 2007 World Pole Dance Championship. Not surprising, it was a controversial event, but not for the reasons you might be thinking…Controversy erupted at the World Pole Dancing Championship when the winner was disqualified for removing too many clothes. She stripped down to her bra and panties.

Wait! Isn’t that what pole dancers are supposed to do? So she was disqualified for “stripping”? I’m confused. Anyway, since the “Maytag” is no longer, here are the photos and videos.

No joke. They held the 2007 World Backside Championships in Munich.

The winner Kristina Dimitrova of Bulgaria, shows off her backside…

Click here for the full story.

Or as I like to count, 47 procrastination days till shopping day.

But if you want to get a head start on your holiday gift list, the Canadian Toy Testing Council has announced its list of the top toys of the year. Click here to read a summary of the best toys as tested by 1000 experts (kids). What a dream job that would be for an 8 year old!

It’s Monday, and MAN was that every nice to enjoy that extra hour of sleep. I was actually ON TIME for work! If you’ve got some trouble getting out of bed in the morning though, check out this list of the 10 Weirdest Alarm Clocks and you could be listening to the Q Morning Crew from your bed in style:

http://www.pcmag.com/slideshow/0,1206,l=218600&pg=0&s=25301&a=218612,00.asp

When trick-or-treaters hit the streets at the end of this month, they will be winked at and jeered by a nation of flickering Jack O’Lanterns. Already, buzz on “pumpkin carving” has spiked 130%, while searches on pumpkin stencils, patterns, and pictures have rustled upwards.

But there’s another stage where autumn’s thick-skinned fruit plays a more nourishing, if unsung, role—and that’s at the kitchen table. Sure, everyone snacks on roasted pumpkin seeds and digs into pumpkin pie at this time of year. But when’s the last time you sank your spoon into a finely wrought pumpkin Crème Brulee? Or woke to a steaming plate of pumpkin pancakes? Whether you have or haven’t, we’re sure you’ll find something new to devour in this list of the top 30 pumpkin recipes, as cooked up by Search…

Are we missing your favorite pumpkin dish? If so, leave the recipe in a comment. And may the Great Pumpkin bless you all.