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“Lots of people have asked what Gracie and I did to make our marriage work. It’s simple-we didn’t do anything. I think the trouble with a lot of people is that they work too hard at staying married. They make a business out of it. When you work too hard at a business, you get tired; when you get tired, you get grouchy; when you get grouchy, you fight; and when you start fighting, you’re out of business.” -George Burns in Living It Up published by Putnam.

Since so much of the program tonight deals with a long-term marriage, I thought I might share insightful comments on what makes a marriage.

“However richly inspired by love, marriage is a high-wire act that is usually attempted by two nervous wrecks who just go for it, reeling with bliss.

“The rest is faith, work, and destiny-which carries with it, as does everything from God, the possibility of plunging from great heights.” Richard Atcheson from Lear’s.

“Marriage isn’t a contest to see who is most often right. Marriage requires being what the Japanese call ‘The Wise Bamboo’-meaning you bend so you don’t break.

“Treat your spouse with the flexibility and respect you would give to a client. Think how we treat clients: we smile, we are polite, we listen to their ideas. Never forget that your spouse is your most important client.”-Joan Rivers in From Mother to Daughter published by Birch Lane.

“Even in a marriage that is fundamentally fine, we may have to live with a certain amount of loneliness. No two people match perfectly, and parts of ourselves may never be understood by the person we had hoped would be our soul mate. There’s nothing my husband can do that will ever get me to share his mania for professional football. There’s nothing I can do that will make him love the poems of Yeats. The fates of husbands and wives may be linked until death do them part, and yet there will be moments-important moments-in marriage when one may turn to the other in desperate search of a reassuring ‘I know what you mean’ and draw a look of incomprehension instead. People only partly connect-even with their nearest and their dearest.” -Judith Viorst from Redbook magazine and featured in the Points to Ponder column of the May 1997 issue of the Reader’s Digest.

“As attached partners in long marriages are to each other, they could live alone and manage if necessary because each remains an individual, whole and intact in the midst of their partnership. If they had to, each could live without the other. They simply do not choose to.” -Francine Klagsbrun from Married People published by Bantam.

My wife and I celebrated 18 years of marriage this year. We knew each other as friends for about 10 years before we ever decided to test the waters of marriage. Throughout the years, I’ve taken the opportunity to read as much as I could about what it takes to keep a union together. From time to time, I will share these insightful comments with the readers to this blog, and, of course, during my nighttime radio program, Lovers and Other Strangers…

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Don Jackson

My apologies for no blog on Friday. My printer died just as I was preparing my show. Our focus was on trying to get a show printed so that I could do it live on the air that night. As it turned out, we went to buy a new printer for my home office on Saturday and got a great deal on one that features a scanner, fax and photo copier. As I was preparing to put the old printer away for eventual removal to a recycling site, my wife wanted me to try turning it back on. That was the problem; I couldn’t get the power button to work. She asked if I would just plug it into an outlet in the wall and see if it turned on. And sure enough it did. My wife is now going to use the old printer in her office. If we had waited just a little longer, it might have eventually worked in order to print Friday night’s show.

My show tonight deals with a book I wanted to feature on Friday. It was written by Squire Rushnell called when GOD winks: HOW THE POWER OF COINCIDENCE GUIDES YOUR LIFE. It was published in 2001 by Atria Books, a trademark of Simon and Schuster. Its ISBN is 0-7434-6707-8. You should have no problems ordering it through your favorite bookseller. The subject matter on the program tonight reminded me of something that appeared in my e-mail a few years back sent from a listener in the States. It is Author Unknown. I wanted to share it with you. When you hear tonight’s radio program you’ll get the connection.

“I found a penny today, just laying on the ground, / But it’s not just this little coin I’ve found. / Angels put them there, that’s what my Grandpa told me, / He said angels toss them down, Oh, how I love the story. / He said when an angel misses you, they toss a penny down, / Sometimes just to cheer you up, to make a smile out of a frown. / So don’t pass by that penny when you’re feeling blue, / It just may be a penny from heaven, that an angel’s tossed to you.”–Author Unknown.

Friday night, on my way home from work, I stopped into an all-night supermarket for a few groceries.  No sooner had I stepped out of the car then I saw two pennies just behind the rear wheel. I guess the angels figured I needed them after the printer meltdown…

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Don Jackson

I  often wonder what it was that first attracted me to my wife. It was so long ago now. We’ve been married for 18 years and knew one another as friends for almost ten years before that. I think the attraction had a lot to do with the fact that she was involved in extremely fascinating work when we first me.

My wife was a technician working in the psychology lab at Concordia University in Montreal. She was involved in drug addiction research. When we would meet for coffee after I finished my mid-afternoon radio show in Montreal, we would discuss some of the projects she was working on. I was fascinated by the intensity of the work and what it meant to those involved in the field the world over. Her lab published some very important papers in prestigious medical journals.

I feature research in the program tonight that states that attraction takes place between people in as little as two seconds. I’m sure that was the case between my wife and I, but in hindsight it seems it was more a gradual process. We stayed friends for almost ten years before ever deciding to take our relationship to the next level. Maybe that slow path has made it possible for us to last this long together. I know of other relationships that have lasted almost a lifetime that began with that ‘thunderbolt’ that the French call the ‘coup de foudre’.

Tonight, I feature a program that has, at its heart, The Secret by Rhona Byrne.  It was published in 2006 by Atria Books and Beyond Words Publishing. Atria Books is a trademark of Simon and Schuster. As you listen to the show tonight, I’d like you to consider what it was that attracted you to the great love of your life. You might find it difficult to narrow it down to one specific thing. If you asked my wife what the attraction was to me in the beginning, I’m sure she might say it was something about the work that I did and maybe, just maybe, something about my voice…

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Don Jackson 

“The secret of success on the job is to work as though you were working for yourself. Your company provides you with the work area, equipment, and other benefits, but basically you know what has to be done and the best way to do it, so it’s up to you to run your own show.” — Lair Ribeiro from Success is No Accident published by St. Martin’s Press.

“The great secret known to internists, but still hidden from the general public, is that most things get better by themselves. Most things, in fact, are better by morning.” — Lewis Thomas from The Lives of A Cell published by Viking Press.

The secret I have to tell you tonight is even more powerful than those featured above.

Tonight on the program, we reveal one of the greatest secrets. It’s one that has been shared by others and one that I will partially reveal. I feature excerpts from a huge bestseller that was on so many must-read lists. It is called The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, published in 2006 by Atria Books and Beyond Words Publishing, a trademark of Simon and Schuster. This is one of those books you simply can’t put down. It explains so much about life and has affected every single person who has ever read it. It is always in print and available to be ordered through your favorite bookseller. That’s all I’m going to tell you about it now. You’ll have to listen to hear more. After tonight’s show, you’ll want to share this “secret” with others.

Psst … Do you want to know a secret?

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Don Jackson

Tonight on the program I devote some time to For One More Day by Mitch Albom, published by Hyperion in 2006. Its ISBN, for you to order it from your favorite bookseller, is 978-1-4013-0957-2. It is a #1 New York Times bestseller, a #1 USA Today bestseller and the #1 Publishers Weekly bestseller. I’ve been wanting to buy it for awhile. I was looking through some of the books that Oprah has recommended and found it sitting by itself. After I purchased it and brought it home, I found that I couldn’t put it down.

The premise is a simple one: Given the opportunity for one more day with someone who has passed over, what would you do?

I read a science fiction story by Philip K. Dick some time back called Ubik that is similar in ways. Its premise in the story is that when loved ones die they are then quickly frozen before all brainwave activity is gone. They are then placed in a holding facility dressed up like a mortuary. Grieving relatives get a chance to communicate with their loved ones through the means of a special kind of technology. For those who can’t bear the thought of letting their loved ones go, they at least can visit them and communicate with them. The price is high, though, because the more they access their loved ones thoughts the faster this way of communication comes to an end. There are only so many times you can speak with the dead in this story.

I wasn’t going to see my mother on the day she passed away. It was raining that day and it was a long drive to the hospital. I’d visited her just about every day, but that day I almost missed going. But something nagged away at me. Something literally compelled me to get up from doing my work and say to my wife that I needed to go. I braved the slick roads and the traffic and drove to the hospital. We spent a wonderful few hours together that afternoon. During that time I had the chance to say the words she always longed to hear, even though I had no idea that this would be her final day. I didn’t actually say “good-bye,” but I did tell her that I loved her. I wasn’t there later that afternoon when she suffered a massive heart attack, but I was thankful I followed my instincts to go see her.

In the short story The Wish by Ray Bradbury, it is 60 seconds to midnight on the eve of Christmas Day. “Is this a special time? I thought. Do holy ghosts wander on nights of falling snow to do us favors in this strange-held hour? If I make a wish in secret, will that perambulating night, strange sleeps, old blizzards give back my wish tenfold?” An excerpt from The Wish by Ray Bradbury from the collection Ray Bradbury Stories: 100 of Bradbury’s Most Celebrated Tales, published in 2003 by William Morrow, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers. In that story, he wishes for a few moments more with a father who has long since passed over. He gets his wish to say the words, but he is surprised that the spirit of his father also has something to say to him. The very same words that the son neglected to say all his life come pouring out of the mouth of the ghost of his father. Three very simple words, but the most important words one human being can ever say to another: “I love you.”

….Just say the words … now…

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Don Jackson

Over the dinner table tonight I asked my children what was special about today. Neither one of them had any idea. They were both caught up in after-school talk and looked at me as if to ask “What did I miss?” 

I hope you enjoyed the first half-day of autumn today. The season officially changed at 11:44 a.m. this morning. It was a gentle change of seasons with a day that reminded me of late summer rather than early fall. 

In the past I’ve said on the program that most of us believe summer ends with the Labor Day weekend. But today whatever remained of summer slipped quietly away.

I knew the season was over this past weekend. My son played his first hockey tournament with his team and they walked away winning it all. Richmond Hill was the host team and city and we thoroughly enjoyed being there Saturday and Sunday. What an absolutely beautiful drive we had even though we got lost heading to one of the arenas. We ended up driving in the country for a spell. We may have been anxious about not being late for one of the big games but we so much enjoyed the scenery.

In my program tonight, I feature some gentle thoughts about the change from summer to fall.

I never have to read the calendar to know there is a change coming. When my son laces up his skates and both my children come home with backpacks full of homework, I know the season has changed.

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Don Jackson

“Did you know that an eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks? The eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come. When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it. The eagle does not escape the storm. It simply uses the storm to lift it higher.. it rises on the winds that bring the storm. When the storms of life come upon us-and all of us will experience them-we can rise above them. The storms do not have to overcome us… we can allow God’s power to lift us above them. God enables us to ride the winds of the storm that bring sickness, tragedy, failure, and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the storm..” -Eagles in a Storm-author unknown.

I was not yet a year old when Hurricane Hazel came to call. I’ve often said on this program that as an adult I missed being in a hurricane on one of the Caribbean islands by a day. We were the last flight given permission to leave before the storm hit. I forgot that I was actually in another, a huge storm that made its way right here to Toronto. Being so young I have no memory of the storm at all. My mother often told me about how she held me in her arms as she and the rest of the family hunkered down in the living room as the storm beat the exterior of the house. The family homestead was an old house and had withstood storms in both summer and winter. This was the first time it had ever been tested by a hurricane. We lost shingles and some siding, but it was built strong enough to endure the worst.

This is called Sleeping Through the Storm-author unknown.
“A young man applied for a job as a farmhand. When the farmer asked for his qualifications he said, ‘I can sleep when the wind blows..’ This puzzled the farmer, but he liked the young man, and hired him… A few days later, the farmer and his wife were awakened in the night by a violent storm…they quickly began to check things out to see if all was secure. They found that the shutters of the farmhouse had been securely fastened. A good supply of logs had been sat next to the fireplace. The young man slept soundly. The farmer and his wife then inspected their property. They found that the farm tools had been place in the storage shed, safe from the elements. The tractor had been moved into the garage. The bar was properly locked. Even the animals were calm. All was well. The farmer then understood the meaning of the young man’s words, ‘I can sleep when the winds blows…’ Because the farmhand did his work loyally and faithfully when the skies were clear, he was prepared for the storm when it broke. So when the wind blew, he was not afraid. He could sleep in peace.”

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Don Jackson

“If you rearrange the letters in ‘economics’ you get ‘comic nose.’” -from an Internet collection and featured in the Wednesday September 17th, 2008 issue of The Globe and Mail’s Social Studies column.

I would not want to be one of the two major presidential candidates in the states, or one of the leaders of our own political parties in the forthcoming elections this year. To me, it seems a “no-win” situation for the winner. Take the economy for instance. Do you believe anyone of them has a “quick fix” that will make things right? They all have the very best advisers offering the best advice that money can buy, but there may be no immediate solution to the world’s economic woes. The markets are just volatile right now. I’ve been watching the candidates in the states and they both want change but offer no real blueprints to fix what is broken. Personally, I think all the greed we’ve witnessed over the past little while has finally taken it’s toll. Now, I’m no economist, but that’s a nagging thought that’s been in my mind since the markets took a major tumble. Don’ttake that piece of advice to the bank, but it’s something to consider.

I’ve read that some very interesting celebrities studied economics. For those who think it’s a dry subject, consider the fact that Mick Jagger of The Rolling Stones studied it. So did Arnold Schwarzenegger. Maybe they should be advising those running for public office this fall.

One final thought…

“Alan Greenspan might never have become chairman of the [U.S.] Federal Reserve if he hadn’t learned to play saxophone. Back when he played tenor sax in the Henry Jerome Orchestra, a jazz band in the 1940’s, Greenspan was already helping to balance the group’s book and was reading up on economics during intermission. It was Greenspan’s dance band connections that later led him first to Richard Nixon and then the White House.” -Nancy Benac of The Associated Press, and featured in the Social Studies column of the Globe and Mail Tuesday, January 31st, 2006.

Is that how Bill Clinton rose to the presidency of the United States? If you’ll remember he was a sax player. Maybe Kenny G should be next in line for the Federal Reserve…

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Don Jackson

“If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life.” -Cher in People magazine, and featured in the Quotable Quotes column of the February 2005 Reader’s Digest magazine.

I’ve mentioned in the past that I bought one of those push-mowers this year. I decided to make a small contribution to the environment by not buying another electric mower. A neighbour across the street had one, and I watched him cut the grass one afternoon early this summer. It didn’t seem to be as much of a chore to manipulate as I remember my father’s old push mower being. When my next-door-neighbour received one for his birthday, I simply couldn’t resist. I went to the store and bought one, and have never looked back. These are the high-tech versions of those old mowers we remember from so long ago. They’re actually easy to mow the lawn with, as long as you don’t let the grass grow too tall. Otherwise you have to go back and forth over the same area in order to ensure you have a good cut. There’s an added benefit as well; my children actually ask to cut the grass now. They were never comfortable with the power extension cord and so the job of cutting the grass was usually left up to me.

With all the rain that fell this summer, my lawn has stayed lush and green. Usually it begins to resemble hay by late summer. This year I helped the environment even more by not having to water it as often.

Tonight’s program features a writing that will make you stop and think about the time and effort we spend tending to our well-manicured lawns. If God were to come down to Earth one day, what would He think about our care and attention to our lawn. You might be surprised at His reaction in this wonderful story that I will feature during the first hour of my program tonight.

Speaking of which, my lawn is starting to look a little ragged…

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Don Jackson

“Remember the fellow who found himself in the middle of a pasture with an angry bull charging him? The only escape in sight was a tree, but the nearest limb was three metres off the ground. The fellow ran for it and made a tremendous leap. He missed it on the way up, but caught it on the way down.” -Anonymous, on the value of overreacting, and featured in the Points to Ponder column of the March 1984 issue of the Reader’s Digest magazine.

Tonight on the program I thought we might climb a few trees. In the process we’ll no doubt remember the ones that taught us a hard lesson when we lost our grip and fell to the ground. I can remember many pleasant hours in the summers of my youth spent high in the branches of an old tree. It was a great vantage point in which to view my little corner of the world. The climb up was always exciting, and probably had alot to do with my later passion for rock climbing. And come to think of it, I liked the climb up better than I liked having to find my way back down. It was the same in rock climbing. The journey to the top was infinitely more exciting. I was always more nervous on the way back down.

The other night, when the remnants of Hurricane Ike blew through Toronto, I thought that some of the trees on our street might snap in two. The next morning there was debris scattered everywhere. Most of it consisted of small branches that were brittle to begin with. My backyard was covered with small branches of the old Linden tree at the far corner of our property. I also recognized twigs with leaves on them from trees a few properties away. We were lucky that we didn’t sustain the kind of damage that Ike wreaked once it came ashore in Galveston. The TV images from the Texas coast are startling.

Some years back, I knew someone who lived along the Florida panhandle. Living in that part of the world his family was familiar with the destruction that a hurricane could bring. I can’t imagine the disruption to the lives of the residents as they try to clean up and pick up the pieces of their shattered lives. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all those whose lives have been affected by the storm. When disasters befall a community, neighbours come together to help each other through the process of rebuilding. If there is one thing I’ve learned from watching what takes place in the aftermath of these storms, it’s the fact that we are a resilient people. It probably has something to do with our inherent makeup as a species. Storms can teach us a lot about ourselves.

“Principles are to men what roots are to trees. Without roots, trees fall when they are thrashed with the winds of the Pampas. Without principle, men fall when they are shaken by the gales of existence.” -Carlos Reyles from Academias y otros ensayos published by Claudio Garcia in Montevideo.

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Don Jackson