Big Blue Whale
Twice during Saturday’s 13-6 beatdown of the Portland LumberJax by the Roughnecks, a cartoon of a swimming blue whale flashed across the power ring at the Saddledome. Providing you’re over 18, read on for an explanation of this exclusively lacrosse insult.
Kiddies and overly sensitive souls out? Alright, then let’s begin. If you’re getting slapped around BAD during a lacrosse game, you blow big blue whale dick. Adult and mature? Maybe not. An apt description of what we saw Saturday? Yup.
The thing is, it didn’t have to be that way. For 3/4ths of the first half, the winless Jax hung in with a Roughnecks teams who’s season hung in the balance. 2-1 after the first quarter? What is this, Minnesota Wild hockey? 3-3 with the opposition on the powerplay? Start writing the woulda-coulda-shoulda story.
Ah, but wait, someone forgot to tell Kaleb Toth. With the Jax having converted on the top end of a 5 on 3 powerplay to tie the score, Jax goalie Matt King inexplicably decides to go walkabout in his own end, charging up the floor with the ball, only to run smack dab into his old buddy and ex-teammate Toth, who crushes the goalie with a hard but clean shot right in the ‘off’ switch, (Later, Toth would say he let up with a chance to put King into a coma. He did) knocking the ball loose, knocking the goalie out, and sending a loose ball skipping to an opportunistic Scott Ranger, who was only too happy to bag the empty-netter and start a world-class clubbing.
At this point, two questions go begging:
A: What the hell was King thinking about?
B: Why did no one from the Jax attempt to beat Toth to death with their bare hands after he took out their goalie?
The best answers I could come up with:
A: Toth tells me that’s the way King plays the game. He’s aggressive and saw a chance to move the ball.
B: Portland didn’t renew its subscription to ‘The Code’ magazine.
Afterwards, Kaleb told me a couple of Portland players gave him shots across the wrists, accompanied by the requisite ‘That’s Bulls**t!’ complaints, yet neither was willing to do anything about it when he asked them if there was any interest in following up. Cue the Big Blue Whale.
Ranger’s shorthanded marker sparked another 4 unanswered for the Riggers, including a tasty behind the net highlight-reeler from Lewis Ratcliff that may or may not have been a crease violation, but there’s no replay in the NLL so there you go.
Come the second half Portland didn’t bring much else to the table. The best moment had to be Scott Ranger creating a turnover behind the Portland net early in the 4th quarter leading to Lewis Ratcliff’s third of the night and an 11-4 lead. Not a crucial goal, but a key indicator of the attacking mindset of a team that needed to establish just that.
Talk about turning your season around in 27 hours. In the course of a little over a day, the Roughnecks have gone fron winless to .500, getting a little separation from anyone in the West not named the Coldorado Mammoth. (4-0 after an easy Saturday win over San Jose) Next up, a home date with NLL all-time leading scorer John Tavares and the Buffalo Bandits on the 8th.
Random thoughts:
-Deep conversation between this reporter and concussed Roughnecks captain Tracey Kelusky in the pressbox:
Me: So how is it watching a game frm up here?
TK: Miserable.
A better conversation with the captain centred on the Riggers’ new aggressive defense, which didn’t look quite so aggressive Saturday. Kelusky pointed out that the defender assigned to the ball carrier was still attacking, but the off-ball defenders were more aware of their responsiblities to cut down passing lanes, hence spending less time running around. Coach Troy Cordingley echoed that point after the game, feeling like his system was finally getting executed the way it needs to be.
-He doesn’t have any big numbers as yet, but keep your eye on Kelly Hall. This guy was a presence, much to the delight of coach Cordingley who challenged Hall very publicly about his work habits in training camp. Hall could have sulked and walked away, but chose to make the coach eat his words instead. The coach couldn’t be happier.
-Give this round of the battle of the Malawsky boys to the Roughnecks’ Curt. Portland’s Derek had 2 goals and 2 assists to Curt’s 1 and 2, but dude, the Big Blue Whale.
-How the hell can a game where the shots on goal are 45-44 Calgary be so one-sided? Answer: Ryan Avery. Best game ever. Period. Ian Busby, drop and give me 20. You know why.