Cynical Cinema

I’ve been paying close attention to the way TV series end now, since I got totally screwed watching six days worth of The 4400 before realizing it never actually ends.  With the Final Season of Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. was released onto DVD (November 25th, from Paramount Home Entertainment), I skipped right to the final episode.  And it’s OK.  But I am not convinced that the people making this show knew it was going to end.  I think they may have been hedging their bets.  First of all, the episode was set up with Gomer on the verge of transfering to another base, which would make Sargent Carter, of course, thrilled.  But then at the end of the episode, he stays after all.  And makes the Sarge ANGRY…

The final episode features clips and flashbacks to the best moments of the series.  Remember when Pyle did the following stupid thing… and so forth.  But there are only a couple, like they had run out of ideas and just needed to do a clip show.  And if that is the case, and they had just run out of ideas, they ended this show not a moment too soon. 

The biggest problem with this show is Sargent Carter.  He is constantly blowing his top, and there is nowhere for him to go.  He can’t get an angrier, he’s already so angry.  This type of character is best when he does a slow burn.  Think Herbert Lom in the Pink Panther movies, as he gets more and more angry with Peter Sellars.  Inspector Dreyfuss begins by being just a little irritated with the bumbling Inspector Clouseau, but by the end of the movies, he is in a full-on rage, eventually going so far as to plan to murder Clouseau.  With Frank Sutton constantly in full-rage mode, we know exactly what we’re going to get, and his rage is no longer funny.

This show remains reasonably funny, most of the time, in a cheesy-60s sitcom sort of way.  Jim Nabors is decent as Gomer Pyle, and the guest stars are usually pretty good, in some cases top-notch.  But the show was never terrific, never hilarious, and it was fairly merciful when the series ended.  Whether they knew it was ending or not.

There is an absolutely phenomenal box set being released on August 26th. Woody Allen has been one of the greatest American directors for many years, and while he is mostly remembered for his all-time classics, Manhattan and Annie Hall, every one of his films is worth watching for one reason or another. With his latest, Vicky Cristina Barcelona in theatres, Alliance Films decided to release Woody Allen: The Collection today, August 26th. Every movie in this box is good, some are great. And while six of the discs have been readily available before this on DVD, the seventh is the bonus.

Wild Man Blues, a 1997 documentary film about Woody Allen, has been a hard-to-find item for some time. Not a film about Allen the film maker, but a film about Woody Allen the jazz musician. Allen, when not making films, plays jazz clarinet at a New York club. This film, directed by Barbara Kopple, follows Allen around as he takes the jazz ensemble on the road. The documentary was made right around the time when the public image of Allen was at it’s lowest. He had just left Mia Farrow for their stepdaughter Soon Yi Previn, and people were beginning to look on him as some kind of sexual predator. This film was accused of apple-polishing by some critics upon it’s release. As though it were some kind of brown-nosing attempt by Kopple to repair Allen’s tarnished image, and the movie was quickly forgotten. But in watching it now, it is merely a window into the man’s private life, his relationship with Soon-Yi, which really does appear to be pretty normal, and his relationship with his parents, which is eye-opening.

The other films in the set are all second-rate Woody Allen films, which would be first-rate films by almost anyone else. Mighty Aphrodite, the film for which Mira Sorvino won a Best Supporting Actress Oscar, is a pretty fluffy film that works best as a reminder that Mira Sorvino CAN actually act. Bullets Over Broadway is a brilliantly funny comedy about gangsterism and the roaring twenties, featuring terrific performances by Chazz Palminteri and Dianne Wiest. Everyone Says I Love You is a musical comedy that is absolutely jammed with star power, and as such is one of the only Julia Roberts movies, AND one of the only Drew Barrymore movies, that I actually enjoy. Deconstructing Harry is a very dark comedy that is equally star-studded, with Robin Williams, Demi Moore, Billy Crystal and dozens of others in perhaps Woody Allen’s most under-rated movie. Celebrity is also jammed with big names, but isn’t one of Allen’s best efforts. And Scoop is likely the low point of the box set, with Scarlett Johanssen turning in a surprisingly mediocre performance and Hugh Jackman being a little more irritating than necessary. Not a horrible movie, but weak by Woody Allen standards.

Woody Allen: The Collection is a must for fans of his work, with Wild Man Blues being the icing on the cake. Get this box set, then pick up Annie Hall, Manhattan and Crimes And Misdemeanors, and you have all the Woody Allen you’ll ever need.

The idea of Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson acting together in a movie is an appealing one. Two titans of the movie world now come together in a buddy comedy about two guys who want to do everything they’ve never done before they die. Still appealing. They skydive and drive race cars. This is starting to get less appealing…The Bucket List is a half-way decent concept with some truly amazing actors, but it just doesn’t work. Yes, Freeman and Nicholson are terrific together, and they both do what they can with the material they are given. But great acting does not make up for poor writing. The poor writing is most obvious when the narration begins. Morgan Freeman, with his wonderful voice is of course the narrator, we would assume from beyond the grave. And somehow, this reminded me most of The Shawshank Redemption, the last movie I watched narrated by Morgan Freeman. (Well, March of the Penguins, too. But he didn’t star in that.)

And clearly The Bucket List has absolutely nothing in common with The Shawshank Redemption, except for Morgan Freeman. But I was constantly aware, every time Freeman began talking, that he was in a sub-par movie. He and Nicholson end up together in the hospital in adjacent beds, and become friendly with one another. Freeman is a career mechanic with a large family - wife, kids, grandkids. Nicholson is a bachelor billionnaire, and he owns the hospital. He has a toadying assistant, played by Sean Hayes (that flaming guy from Will and Grace), who gives a pretty solid performance. In fact, Nicholson’s relationship with Hayes is far more interesting and well done than the one he has with Freeman.

Soon after meeting, both Freeman and Nicholson are diagnosed with terminal cancer, and given six months or a year to live. So they break out of the hospital and go on a round-the-world trip to do everything they ever wanted to do before they “kick the bucket”. Hence - The Bucket List. At least Nicholson scoffs at the title, mocking it’s cutesy nature. And at the very least they get the old-guys-doing-extreme-sports thing out of the way early on. Get it - they’re skydiving, but they’re old! That in itself is supposed to be funny. It isn’t. What then follows is scene after scene of the two of them talking about life, ruminating on existence atop the pyramids, the Great Wall of China, beside the Taj Mahal, and so forth.

The basic premise of this movie, as it so obviously will be from the start, is that the journey the two undertake will change them profoundly. Freeman will get a chance, through Nicholson and his money, to experience a world beyond that which he has lived his whole life. And Nicholson will learn, through Freeman, the value of human kindness and love for one’s fellow man. This will of course lead to a heartwarming scene where Jack sets aside his rich-guy, arrogant maniac pride, and visits his estranged daughter. Now, it might seem as though I am giving away the ending here, that this is a spoiler. But it’s fairly obvious right from the start that this is what is going to happen. I knew this from watching the trailers.

In the end, The Bucket List is worth watching only for Freeman and Nicholson. The two of them are just magnetic, and they are well worth watching in just about anything. And The Bucket List is just about anything. It is a poor movie, it is badly written and so painfully obvious throughout, but people are going to watch this because of the names at the top of the marquee. And those names really do make it almost worthwhile.