Cynical Cinema

“I am a racism connaisseur.” 

Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist was a bizarrely-animated Comedy Central TV series featuring a type of computer animation dubbed “squigglevision”.  It’s a rather disconcerting style, where the inanimate objects look normal, but the outlines of the people are constantly “squiggling” around.  It’s too bad that the animation is so obnoxious and distracting from what was otherwise an excellent show.  And the best of it is here on this DVD. 

When they say “the best of”, they really mean “the biggest stars to appear on the show”.  Everyone on the show appears as “themselves”.  So when Denis Leary comes on the show, he is really playing Denis Leary, just in a cartoon therapy session.  Most of the superstars on this disc are basically doing their standup routines, just in the context of a therapist’s chair.  For some of them, this really works.  Like Dave Chappelle, whose bit about being the only black guy on an airplane is still one of the funniest bits I’ve ever heard.  The extra pictures that add to the routine are fantastic, like the little graph he pulls up that shows the statistics on terrorists taking black hostages, versus white and hispanic and oriental ones.

Patton Oswalt’s bit is hilarious, where he tries to convince Dr. Katz that he functions better if he has someone to hate, and that he would like Dr. Katz to be his nemesis.  It’s an inspired bit, where he keeps asking the therapist to be more evil, and maybe tent his fingers some.  Also great are Sarah Silverman, Janeane Garofalo, and Conan O’Brien.  There are a few misses, like the bit with Julia Louis-Dreyfus where she does the whole session over the phone, and keeps having to go to the bathroom. 

Overall, this really is a funny DVD, and a great collection of the best Dr. Katz moments.  It’s just too bad about that annoying animation.  The Best Of Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist comes out Tuesday, December 2nd, from Paramount Home Entertainment.

“And His forgiveness blew their mind”

A Colbert Christmas opens with one of the most entertaining, funny Christmas songs I’ve ever heard.  Stephen Colbert, you see, has discovered that when you sing regular Christmas songs on television, you have to pay royalties.  So he has decided to write his own, which will be performed throughout the show.  The first one is a song he sings solo, a song about…the song he’s singing.  How you can log onto iTunes and pay to download it.  It’s lots of fun, and kicks off one of the very best Christmas specials I have seen.  From there, it moves on to the standard fireplace-and-sweater Chistmas theme, the way only Stephen Colbert can twist that one up.

The little bits between songs are OK, but the cheesy “hey, you want some chestnuts” bits get old after a while.  But the songs themselves are magnificent.  Feist shows up as an angel, singing a song about how due to an unusually high level of prayer volume, there will be some delays in answering your prayer.  Your prayer is important to us, and we will answer all prayers in the order in which they were received.  “Please continue to hold, an angel will be with thee…shortly”.  I love Feist.  Now, she does allow Elvis Costello to be mauled by a bear, and that upset me because I also love Elvis Costello.  But aside from that, her appearance is absolutely a success.

Toby Keith shows up, making fun of a lot of things.  Including himself.  Stephen Colbert has modeled his Colbert Report on Bill O’Reilly’s The O’Reilly Factor, in that it is delusional right-wing propaganda taken to the extreme.  No one in the music business represents delusional right-wing propaganda more than Toby Keith.  Remember that song he wrote about America sticking her big flag-painted boot up the ass of the rest of the world?  (Or something like that.)  This year, as he does most years, Bill O’Reilly has been spouting off on his show about “the war on Christmas”.  How people say “happy holidays” in the stores instead of “Merry Christmas”.  And he gets enraged about it, and turns to Focus On The Family for an opinion - oh, my.  It’s some hilarious, delusional television.

Anyway, that is the song Toby Keith performs.  The tune could have come straight from the teleprompter of Bill O’Reilly - “they took our Christmas, but we’re taking it back”.  The video involves several shots of massive, destructive bombings, Toby Keith shooting his assault rifle directly into the camera, and numerous references to the Statue of Liberty, the American Flag, and so forth.  Toby Keith has long been one of my least favourite musicians, partly because I took the side of the Dixie Chicks in that battle a few years ago.  But maybe I’ve got him all wrong.  If he can make fun of himself, Bill O’Reilly, American uber-patriotism, and country music all at the same time, and so cleverly, perhaps he’s OK.  Then again, that’s assuming he gets it.  He looks pretty darn unenthused through his whole performance.  But I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt here.  Toby Keith gets it, and it’s great.

Jon Stewart makes a brief appearance, (of course), to sing a song about Hanukkah.  It’s OK, but disappointing.  Stewart isn’t as funny on Colbert as he is on his own program.  But that moment is saved when John Legend shows up.  For those of you unfamiliar with John Legend, he’s one of those modern R&B artists who wins a ton of Grammys for his slick and cheesily sexy love ballads.  He gets angry when Colbert serves egg nog without nutmeg, and he performs an ode to nutmeg, one that sends up his own style of music while being funny, smart, and totally filthy.  It’s terrific.

Toward the end, after the Jonas Brothers have died in a horrible drowning accident and Elvis Costello has been eaten by a bear, the cast gets together to sing Costello’s “(What’s So Funny ‘Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding”.  It’s a great musical moment, and pretty funny too.  Then Costello is cut out of the bear’s stomach by Santa Claus (George Wendt) just in time to sing one last song with Colbert.  Again, a great musical moment.

But the best song on the DVD belongs to Willie Nelson, who shows up as a fourth wise man, bringing an offering of weed to the baby Jesus.  I lauged so hard at this part - mostly for the song but also beacuse of Nelson’s ridiculous get-up - that tears were coming down my cheeks.  This song features almost all of the best lines in the entire Colbert Christmas special - “and his forgiveness blew their mind”, “let not mankind bogart love”.  A magnificent song by a wonderful artist, and the best moment I have seen in any Christmas special.  Ever.

There are a few bonus features on the DVD, like the three “alternate endings”, which are clearly filmed after the fact and were never intended to be real “alternate endings”.  There is an “advent calendar” feature, where I guess the idea is that every day from December 1st until Christmas you can click on one of the calendar squares, and Stephen Colbert will appear to dish out words of wisdom, or to do something funny.  The best bonus feature, however, is another song.  “Cold Cold Christmas” is a country Christmas song performed by Colbert with a guitar, and it might be even funnier than the Willie Nelson tune.  What makes it so brilliant is that it really could be a country Christmas tune.  It seems totally real, except for the bitterness that comes out more and more as the song goes on.  Another amazing moment on a terrific DVD.

Paramount Home Entertainment is releasing another Carlos Mencia DVD today. A couple of weeks ago, they released a DVD of his stand-up, Carlos Mencia: Performance Enhanced. At the time, I said that it sucked. And that Carlos Mencia sucks. Now, a few weeks later, with the release of Mind of Mencia, Season Four, I can put an exclamation point on my earlier statements. Carlos Mencia is terrible. He is probably not the worst comic working today, but he is certainly the worst comic with his own TV show. He makes Dane Cook look like Jerry Seinfeld. How bad is he? Let’s examine the fourth season of his show to find out.

Who is the comic most people mock, more often than any other, the world over? I am going to go out on a very short limb in saying that it is Carrot-Top. Carrot-Top has become the standard punch-line in every non-comic’s jokes about bad comics. There is a moment, in the fourth episode of Season Four of Mind Of Mencia, where Carlos Mencia does a bit involving a briefcase that looks like a muffler, and other props, that really made me think I would rather be watching Carrot-Top. It’s one thing to do a “crazy John McCain” bit that smacks of lazy and terrible Jon Stewart. Or a “who has it worse” bit that is like a crappy, unclever, lazy Bill Maher. The stupid alien-ass-probe bit that was done way better by South Park, the unfunny Indiana Jones bit that was done far better by The Simpsons, and dozens of others. It is quite another thing to do a bit that makes CARROT-TOP look good. That is unfortunate.

What I think this show needs, more than anything else, is some co-stars. Every stand-up bit, every skit, every spoof, stars Carlos Mencia. Since Carlos Mencia is not funny, this is way too much Carlos Mencia. And maybe, just maybe, Mencia could find a co-star who is actually funny, and that would improve this show immeasurably. However, I think the problem may be that Carlos Mencia has no friends. During the stand-up portions of his sketch comedy show, he is constantly mentioning other people. Like, he’ll say “people are always coming up to me and saying ‘Carlos, my life is rough’”. Or some such thing. Now, this seems suspect to me. No one has ever come up to me and said anything like that. Not strangers, not acquaintances, and certainly not friends. I’m not a stand-up comic, so perhaps people approach me with different questions or statements than they do Carlos Mencia. But I find this unlikely.

And he will then, on stage, have a conversation with himself in the guise of “other people”. He will respond to this anonymous “other person”, as Carlos Mencia, and then respond again as the “other person”. This creates a bizarre, schizophrenic-style dialogue that really appears as though it never took place. And when he finishes his bit, very often he laughs way too hard at his own jokes. Which makes me feel like I’m watching an unfunny and vaguely creepy wannabe comic rehearsing his own routine in front of his bathroom mirror while he is off his meds. At the end of an episode, he says “that’s the show, and if you don’t like it, you can choose not to watch”. This is about the most insightful thing he has ever said on his program. But what he really means is “if you are offended, change the channel”. I am not offended, I am bored. I don’t like his show. And I choose not to watch.

Until the advent of Sarah Palin, with her striking resemblance to Tina Fey and her amazing inability to answer easy questions coherently, the easiest public figure to lampoon was George W. Bush. After all, the man has not only been dangerously inept, historically unpopular, and frighteningly zealous, he has also been incredibly bad at using words to create sentences, which makes him come off as hilariously stupid. Mixed metaphors, mispronounced words, questionable grammar, and a rather poor handle on facts have made the current American President an easy target for comedians and satirists alike. Now Paramount Home Entertainment is releasing an anthology of these humourous looks at a dangerously unqualified man. Comedy Central Salutes George W. Bush hits DVD on October 21st. It’s a collection of George W. Bush related moments from Comedy Central over the past eight years. The past eight long, painful years.

And as it turns out, even with this incredibly easy-to-mock subject matter, the DVD itself manages to be long and painful! It begins well, with an episode of South Park where Cartman blames Kyle for 9/11. Eventually, the boys meet up with Bush and some intriguing yet bonkers conspiracy theories are revealed. A funny episode from a funny show, featuring some genuinely creepy moments involving the Hardy Boys, for some reason. What follows is a sub-par episode from a sub-par show. Lil’ Bush is just not that good. Obviously this disc was going to contain an episode, and in fact it contains two. But there are some episodes of this show that are better than others, and they have chosen two of the worst. For example, why not pick an episode that genuinely lampoons Bush, like the one involving Lil’ Karl Rove? Instead they have chosen an episode that centres around Lil’ Cheney having sex with Barbara Bush and ending up stuck in her womb. Which is just disgusting, not funny at all, and really has little to do with George W.

After sitting through two episodes of Lil’ Bush, one boring and one unpleasant, we get to a truly bizarre show I never knew existed. That’s My Bush is a really strange show lampooning the Bush family in a sit-com style. It’s basically a scenario that asks “what if George W. Bush starred in a sit-com?” It doesn’t really satirize the president, because it doesn’t touch on his policies at all, or his views or his outlook as president. It goes through the motions of a sit-com. Only it stars George Bush and Laura Bush. Get it? I don’t. It’s a satire of sit-coms, not of Bush. In this particular episode, Bush is trying to hold a meeting to unite the leaders of the pro-life movement with the leaders of the anti-abortion movement, all the while attending a nice, sit-down, romantic dinner that he has promised Laura. So he constantly runs back and forth from the dinner to the meeting, and hijinks ensue. Not once do we get any satire on his own personal views on Roe vs. Wade, we just get the sit-com spoof of him switching dinner jackets a bunch of times.

Then there is some respite from the terrible, with an episode of Lewis Black’s Root of All Evil, one that pits Paris Hilton against Dick Cheney. A very funny episode, but one that deals only tangentially with Bush himself. Then The Last Laugh Squad, a cartoon featuring Black again, along with some other comics, as they shrink themselves, get into a spaceship, and fly up Bush’s ass. Considering the talent in the episode, this is a pretty poor comedic vehicle. Finally, we get to some stand-up clips from Greg Giraldo, Patton Oswalt, Lewis Black again, and Frank Caliendo doing his Bush impression. Some of this is quite funny, but it’s all too brief, and Carlos Mencia’s bit about Bush being the president of Iraq in 2026 is absolutely awful, and not funny at all. Considering all the fodder Bush has provided Comedy Central over the past eight years, I am sad that this DVD is the best they could manage. They would have done much, much better cobbling together a couple of hours of moments from The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, and ignoring most of this stuff altogether.

Paramount Home Entertainment is releasing Season Two of one of my favourite TV shows on October 14th. The Sarah Silverman Program is not just one of my favourite TV shows in the world, it stars one of my favourite people in the world. Sarah Silverman is reasonably attractive. In fact, she’s pretty. But that’s not why I love her. She is hilarious, but again, that’s not her best quality. The reason I have told my girlfriend I would leave her for Sarah Silverman is that she has absolutely no boundaries. At all. Think of the most offensive joke you can, and how that joke could be made even more offensive, with the addition of racial humour, or toilet humour, or an extra bit of dialogue about AIDS. Sarah Silverman has already thought of it all, and is a few steps ahead of you. She has crossed the line you’ve imagined, taken it three steps further, and added something else that YOU would never in a million years have thought of saying.

And the best thing about this humour - it all works! The Sarah Silverman Program is one of the smartest, funniest, most offensive shows in the history of television. In Season Two, she joins a radical anti-abortion group without understanding what they’re all about, then quits because she really loves having abortions. She wears blackface for an entire episode, in a bizarre bet with a black friend as to who has it tougher - blacks or jews. Oh, and her mother has her corpse defiled by grave robbers, and she licks her own dog’s anus.

It’s easy to find humour this offensive on the internet and even elsewhere on TV. But nowhere else is it done with such a whimsical sense of fun, or such a brilliantly subversive stroke of genius. Check out this TV series. Do it today. This is what humour is supposed to be.

The first episode of Lil’ Bush: Resident of the United States begins with a spoof of the Sarah Silverman “I’m f***ing Matt Damon” bit from the Jimmy Kimmel show. Only in this case, Lil’ Bush is f***ing John McCain. Because McCain was in the news at the time. It’s a painful, unfunny spoof to kick off the second season of a show that is, in itself, painful and rarely funny. Paramount Home Entertainment releases Season Two of Lil’ Bush on October 14th, and although it is slightly better in the second season than it was in the first, it is not exactly great. It’s mostly better because of the addition of a few more recognizable characters. Lil’ Al Gore becomes a prominent character, as Lil’ Bush and his cronies (Lil’ Rumsfeld, Lil’ Condoleeza Rice and Lil’ Cheney) give Gore a swirly in the toilet, and are caught on tape by Lil’ Wolf Blitzer. Why Wolf Blitzer? Who knows. It strikes me that if they wanted to bring in some new figures worth mocking, they could have done better. Like a Lil’ Keith Olberman or a Lil’ Bill O’Reilly. But then, I wondered why, in the first season, there was no Lil’ Karl Rove.  I’m getting pretty tired of typing the word “Lil’”.  But here goes more.

There is now a Lil’ Dennis Kucinich, a Lil’ Mitt Romney, a Lil’ Rudy Giuliani, and a Lil’ Fred Thompson. All of which make very brief appearances. You can tell when the episodes are being made simply by the characters that appear. The St. Patty’s Day episode was clearly made during the Democratic primaries, what with the Lil’ Obama - Lil’ Hillary fights. The problem is, it’s tough to tell when this series was made, because of the cultural references from different eras. It appears to be set during a time when George Bush, Sr. is president, because it makes references to He-Man. But then, moments later, the show makes reference to last night’s episode of House. It’s a little disconcerting.

The best part of season two, however, is the addition of a character who ought to have been added early on in the series. And, in fact, he should be as much a part of Lil’ Bush’s inner circle of cronies as is Lil’ Rumsfeld or Lil’ Condoleeza Rice. Lil’ Karl Rove makes a big splash when he is introduced, as a solitary, demented, anti-Democratic maniac. The bit with Lil’ Rove is pretty smart, certainly better than the average fare you get from this series. But although the Lil’ Rove episode is very good, the rest of the series is not. It’s OK, but the satire is not nearly as biting as it ought to be with this subject material. It feels lazy. Like, Lil’ Al Gore wants to save the environment. And Lil’ Barack Obama keeps saying “yes we can”. And Lil’ John Edwards shows up to chase skirts. It isn’t exactly brilliant, it’s merely an obvious reflection of the stories that are in the news at the time. And it feels like just about anybody could do that. And why would you want to buy the box set of a TV show that you could have produced yourself?

I recently reviewed Season One of A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila for Cynical Cinema.

http://blog.rogersradiointernet.com/cynicalcinema/2008/04/15/a-shot-at-love-with-tila-tequila-out-todayapocalypse-tomorrow-010/

  I made the suggestion that not only is this the worst TV show of all time, it might also be the worst single thing in all of civilization. I further went on to suggest that this TV show might be the most obvious sign of the impending apocalypse, and that perhaps we should all begin building our bunkers right now. And now, another TV show - one that is actually good - has made the same case. Lewis Black’s The Root Of All Evil is my new favourite show on television. Mostly because I really enjoy Lewis Black. He gets two comedians to debate two cultural phenomena who might be the Root of All Evil, and Black presides over the debate like a judge. They’ll do Dick Cheney vs. Paris Hilton, or Oprah or the Catholic Church vs. facebook. It’s hilarious, terribly politically incorrect, and very smart. And the one where everything came together for me was when they debated who was the Root of All Evil - Kim Jong Il or Tila Tequila?

As it turns out, Tila Tequila won. It was found that she is, in fact, doing less harm to the world than is Kim Jong Il. I respectfully disagree. Hers is a TV show where she looked for love in a bisexual way with both men and women - as Lewis Black says in the episode, achieving the impossible, actually dumbing down MTV. And after “Season One”, which I was unable to watch until the end for fear my brain would collapse and I would start speaking in internet lingo “I need to dl my lmao lol omfg, wtf?”, and I would perhaps be mistaken for someone speaking crazy-guy gibberish, and be locked away somewhere. And I have golf today. And that’s my ripple of evil.  But season one of A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila is no longer the worst show on TV. Now, there is a season two. I guess she did NOT find true love at the end of season one. Which amazes me. But, season two of Tila Tequila is no longer the worst show coming to TV. No, apparently - I have discovered this through several sources - there will be a spinoff dating show! A spinoff. Of this show. Starring the creepy Italian guy in the speedo from Season One.

Which means that now, you can be famous simply by being the most annoying guy on a reality show that was created to give a starring vehicle to someone who became famous by being the most annoying person on the internet. MySpace, specifically. And THAT is the root of all evil. Or, at the very least, the Apocalypse. This almost makes Tyra Banks look halfway credible. But at least it will give Lewis Black and his terrific program even more fodder with which to entertain me and skewer crappy television “personalities”. And I can’t wait for that day to come. Lewis Black’s Root Of All Evil is one of the funniest shows ever, and Season One comes out on DVD September 30th from Paramount Home Entertainment.

Brian Regan is a stand-up comedian. A fairly inoffensive, fairly self-deprecating stand-up comedian. Paramount Home Entertainment is releasing his DVD, The Epitome of Hyperbole, today, September 9th. It’s a pretty good, pretty consistent set from a pretty funny guy. I don’t know what keeps me from a truly hearty recommendation here. I don’t need a comedian to be overly crass to enjoy it. Although Dave Chappelle is brilliant. And I don’t need him to have a specifically unusual delivery, although it really works for Mitch Hedberg. All I really need to recommend a comedian is good material and a good delivery. And Regan has both of those things. I guess it’s just that nothing leaps out at me about his set.

I’m writing this review about two days after watching the DVD, and I can’t remember a single joke. Well, except the one about the title of the DVD, The Epitome of Hyperbole. I remember that Regan talked about his childhood and his family and sex and women and used observational humour. And I remember I laughed a lot. But not one joke stands out in my mind. And that’s the whole problem. I know Brian Regan is good, but I don’t remember why.

The fifth season of Reno 911 opens with the star of the show, Lieutenant Jim Dangle, jumping a shark. Actually jumping a shark, on foot, as a way to raise money for autism. In fact, the theme of him jumping a shark returns several times during the season. As most of you know, “jumping the shark” is a metaphor that means a show has passed it’s expiry date and it’s time to yank it from the airwaves. But Reno 911, amazingly, has not reached it’s expiry date. It has not yet jumped the shark. This is still one of the funniest shows on television, and season five is as good as ever. There are some hilarious set-ups and payoffs during this season.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel has a baby, having been artificially inseminated at the sperm bank, in order to sell it for cash. The father of this baby is apparently one of the other officers in the Reno department, although we never find out who it is. Later on in the season, she meets up with her real father for the first time. He is a gigantic, wise, philosophizing native man who may also be a rapist. The ladies file a grievance about the kevlar vests, which are interfering with their ability to do their jobs. This leads to some new, boob-enhancing kevlar for the female officers, and leads to some very funny comedy. And the episode where the gang breaks up the stuffed-bunny cocaine ring has to be seen to be appreciated.

Of course, there are several jokes that don’t work as well, like the recurring character of the big fat effeminate shirtless gay guy who keeps trying to get the cops to pick up young boys for him. Or the episode where the intentionally unattractive Deputy Wiegel goes undercover as a creepy schoolgirl on a bus to try to apprehend a serial bum-pincher. But this is to be expected with this kind of largely improvised sketch comedy, and Reno 911 continues to be more hit than miss. And George Lopez appears in this season, doing a fantastic turn as the embattled and possibly homicidal mayor. Reno 911 is not the best show on Comedy Central, but it’s just what you would expect. Crude, offensive, and mostly funny. Season Five comes out tomorrow, July 15th, from Paramount Home Entertainment.

Lil’ Bush: Resident of the United States is an interesting concept. It takes George Bush, as a small child, fills him with delusions of grandeur, pairs him with playmates such as Lil’ Rummy and Lil’ Condie and Lil’ Cheney…no clever nicknames for Cheney, I suppose. He lives with his president father and his ugly mother, and he sows the seeds of a future disastrous presidency as he makes his way through school. There is a Lil’ Hillary Clinton, a Lil’ Bill Clinton, a Lil’ Barack Obama, pretty much a “Lil’” every major political figure in the U.S. and the world, up to and including Lil’ Kim Jong Il. No attempt is really made to have any kind of continuity, and I suppose that’s rather unimportant when it comes to a show like this one. Things take place that are occurring today, and then things that occurred during the presidency of Bush senior take place, and that’s about it.

Which is the real, irritating part about Lil’ Bush. There are some good lines and good jokes, like Haliburtonland in Iraq, and Lil’ Cheney bites the heads off chickens, Lil’ Condoleeza Rice is in love with Lil’ Bush, Lil’ Tony Blair is effeminate…but so what?Three good lines per episode is not enough to make this show good. Simply referencing George Bush and mocking his attitude could sustain you for one half-hour episode. Making Lil’ Jeb Bush a neanderthal with the IQ of a toad and talking about Lil’ Rumsfeld’s father beating him could, if done right, sustain you for a second episode. But it does not a whole show make. At some point, you want the show to be what it ostensibly is - political. In the end, it feels far more like a show that merely takes the name of the current U.S. president and then makes him look stupid. That, any comedian can do. That, is easy. George W. Bush is the most easily-mocked public figure of the past fifty years, outside maybe OJ, and yet this show is content to do simply that. Make the easy Cheney-is-corrupt jokes, and the Bush-is-stupid jokes, and the Clinton-is-a-horndog jokes, and that’s it.

Please. Haven’t Clinton-likes-breasts-and-interns jokes left the realm of topicality eight years ago? There is so much the Bush administration, and the Bush cronies, do every day that is worth skewering, that it’s very disappointing when you don’t see that happen. And by the way - where is Lil’ Karl Rove? Shouldn’t HE be the one biting the heads off chickens while Lil’ Cheney shoots people in the face? I see why this show was picked up - the idea has tremendous potential. But none of that potential is fulfilled here.