Cynical Cinema

Alliance Films is releasing Blue Elephant on November 4th. The cover of the DVD makes it look cutesy and kiddy, the trailers made it look cutesy and kiddy, and it’s produced by the Jim Henson Company. And it’s cutesy and kiddy. At first. There is a baby blue elephant, born into the jungles of Siam, I guess in the years when Thailand was still known as “Siam”. Their country is being invaded by Burma, I guess in the days when Myanmar was still known as “Burma”. The main reason, it seems, to place this movie in such a historical context, is so that there is a reason to have elephants participating in warfare. The Thai (or, Siamese) people and elephants are good and noble and strong and brave, the Burmese people and elephants are treacherous, vile, despicable and cartoon evil.

But we don’t see this at the beginning. At the beginning, the emphasis is on CUTE. Cute little elephants with big ol’ eyes and smiling faces, cute little birds who carry messages from the king and wear ancient oriental straw hats, and cute little set pieces where elephants fall into mud and frogs get blown up to be used as beachballs. There are also some nondescript green creatures who live in a pond, which at first I though were frogs until the actual frogs showed up. I guess they are not really frogs. But boy, are they ever cute, whatever they are. The little messenger bird ought to be familiar to many audiences, he seems to have showed up in some shorts that come on before kids’ movies in theatres (specifically the Port Elmsley drive-in, I’ve noticed). The elephants have cute Asian names, which leads me to believe that this was in fact an Asian movie. And it is. This is actually a movie made in Thailand, where it is called Khan Kluay.

Khan Kluay is the name of the elephant in the film, the only thing (other than the setting itself) that carried over from the Thai version of the movie. The English voices are done by English actors, among them Carl Reiner, Martin Short, and Miranda Cosgrove. The big eyes and the cute characters are, at first, well…cute. After a while though, it becomes a little tiresome, as this little elephant gets separated from his herd and wanders alone through the jungle of Siam, getting into one cute adventure after another. (Including a bizarre confrontation with a pack of wolves who literally vibrate.) Soon though, the cute stuff begins to disappear, as Khan Kluay ends up in a Siamese village, rescued by a friendly female elephant and some kindly old Siamese people. The elephants are still cute, but the humans (especially the human babies) are UGLY.

While in this village, Khan trains to become one of the battle elephants of the Siamese army. His father, a mythical figure that Khan has never known, is the most famous and fearsome of the Siamese war elephants, and Khan wants to live up to the legacy of the father he has never known. This leads to a very long training montage, which appears to be the sort of tutelage Pai Mei provided in Kill Bill Vol. 2, and leads to something resembling an NFL scouting combine. Only for elephants. Throughout this story, the prince, and then king, of Siam appears to spout new-age type wisdom and spin morals in vaguely creepy speeches. Were he a character in an American movie, he would have a pony tail and quote Buddha and Confucious, and eat alfalfa and drink green tea smoothies. And he would be SO wise and yet still kick ass in battles. In short, he would be Steven Seagal. See? Vaguely creepy.

The cuteness disappears almost entirely toward the end of the movie as young Khan becomes the leader of the Siamese army, the king’s own elephant, and he will be tested in battle against the Black Elephant, the leader of the Burmese army. The Black Elephant is the embodiment of evil, in elephant form. His epic clashes with Khan’s father have become the stuff of legend, and Khan will of course face this evil beast down in the final showdown and exact some revenge. This whole father, war, revenge thing is pretty standard in Thai movies. In fact, so are elephants - think The Protector. Which means that The Blue Elephant follows the story arc we all expect.

Well, it follows the arc we all expect when it actually gets going. It certainly didn’t follow the arc I expected when I looked at the cover of the DVD. The cute stuff is in there, but it leads to something far more entertaining and interesting. It’s predictable, it’s standard fare, but rarely is stuff like this done for children, and that makes The Blue Elephant pretty cool.

There is an absolutely phenomenal box set being released on August 26th. Woody Allen has been one of the greatest American directors for many years, and while he is mostly remembered for his all-time classics, Manhattan and Annie Hall, every one of his films is worth watching for one reason or another. With his latest, Vicky Cristina Barcelona in theatres, Alliance Films decided to release Woody Allen: The Collection today, August 26th. Every movie in this box is good, some are great. And while six of the discs have been readily available before this on DVD, the seventh is the bonus.

Wild Man Blues, a 1997 documentary film about Woody Allen, has been a hard-to-find item for some time. Not a film about Allen the film maker, but a film about Woody Allen the jazz musician. Allen, when not making films, plays jazz clarinet at a New York club. This film, directed by Barbara Kopple, follows Allen around as he takes the jazz ensemble on the road. The documentary was made right around the time when the public image of Allen was at it’s lowest. He had just left Mia Farrow for their stepdaughter Soon Yi Previn, and people were beginning to look on him as some kind of sexual predator. This film was accused of apple-polishing by some critics upon it’s release. As though it were some kind of brown-nosing attempt by Kopple to repair Allen’s tarnished image, and the movie was quickly forgotten. But in watching it now, it is merely a window into the man’s private life, his relationship with Soon-Yi, which really does appear to be pretty normal, and his relationship with his parents, which is eye-opening.

The other films in the set are all second-rate Woody Allen films, which would be first-rate films by almost anyone else. Mighty Aphrodite, the film for which Mira Sorvino won a Best Supporting Actress Oscar, is a pretty fluffy film that works best as a reminder that Mira Sorvino CAN actually act. Bullets Over Broadway is a brilliantly funny comedy about gangsterism and the roaring twenties, featuring terrific performances by Chazz Palminteri and Dianne Wiest. Everyone Says I Love You is a musical comedy that is absolutely jammed with star power, and as such is one of the only Julia Roberts movies, AND one of the only Drew Barrymore movies, that I actually enjoy. Deconstructing Harry is a very dark comedy that is equally star-studded, with Robin Williams, Demi Moore, Billy Crystal and dozens of others in perhaps Woody Allen’s most under-rated movie. Celebrity is also jammed with big names, but isn’t one of Allen’s best efforts. And Scoop is likely the low point of the box set, with Scarlett Johanssen turning in a surprisingly mediocre performance and Hugh Jackman being a little more irritating than necessary. Not a horrible movie, but weak by Woody Allen standards.

Woody Allen: The Collection is a must for fans of his work, with Wild Man Blues being the icing on the cake. Get this box set, then pick up Annie Hall, Manhattan and Crimes And Misdemeanors, and you have all the Woody Allen you’ll ever need.