Cynical Cinema

Paramount Home Entertainment is in the Christmas spirit. A little early, if you ask me. But they didn’t ask me. They just went ahead and released the Holiday Treats DVD today, October 7th. It’s billed as “8 heartwarming TV classics”, and it actually delivers. For although I have not yet become imbued with the Christmas spirit, and I will likely hold off on that until about December 22nd, these TV episodes stand on their own. I had just turned on the I Love Lucy episode to take a quick gander at the DVD, and I was joined by my nine-year-old stepson. And he forced me to sit there, through eight episodes of Christmas cheer. And, with the exception of the Frasier episode, he laughed the whole time.

There is an episode of I Love Lucy where Lucy and Ricky put up a Christmas tree while reminiscing about the birth of their child. Then The Honeymooners, where Ralph sells his bowling ball to buy Alice her Christmas gift, only to find out she bought him a bag for his bowling ball. The episode of Andy Griffith where they hold their Christmas celebration in the jailhouse. The Brady Bunch episode where Flo has laryngitis. A particularly funny episode of Taxi where Louie puts up his own mother in a poker game with his brother. The Family Ties episode where Alex is visited by the ghosts from A Christmas Carol. Then a truly heartwarming episode of Frasier and a silly episode of Wings that involves Fay throwing her late husband’s ashes out of a plane in a dustbuster.

I could have done without the Family Ties and Wings, but six out of eight isn’t bad. I would suggest saving the Holiday Treats DVD for Christmas, but it’s a gift that could well be opened before December 25th.

Matlock was a series that began in 1986. At that time, it’s audience was, as is my understanding, comprised entirely of people over the age of 70. I know this because I watch the Simpsons - Maaatloooock! The first season of the show replaced another cautionary tale of 80s television, The A-Team, on ABC on Friday nights. That first season saw it’s release on DVD today, courtesy of Paramount Home Entertainment. Now, I don’t want to question Paramount’s judgement - they have been good to me. But exactly who do they think might be buying this? The people who watched the show in Season One are now, at least, 92 years old. Which means that half of them are dead, and the other half are old-timers who are resistant to new technologies, and who don’t own a DVD player.

I have a lawyer. He is fairly competent, I think. He knows his way around the law, and he is doing some fine work for me right now. And if I ever get arrested for that murder I never committed, I would likely hire him to save me. However, while I’m certain he would be able to defend me on legal grounds, I doubt he would have the ability to investigate and solve the crime all by himself. For that, I would rely on the police. Matlock, on the other hand, can do it all. Amazingly, in every episode of Matlock over the course of the show’s nine years and 195 episodes, Matlock was never asked to defend someone who had actually committed a crime. This is the kind of luck that befell Jessica Fletcher only in reverse, on that other much-loved-by-octogenarians show, Murder She Wrote. Matlock was anchored by Andy Griffith, who plays Ben Matlock as some kind of cross between Columbo and Perry Mason. Both of which were superior shows to Matlock.

Which brings me to another DVD set released today. The 50th Anniversary edition of Perry Mason, a show anchored by Raymond Burr. I like Andy Griffith, and I like Raymond Burr, but what made Perry Mason better than Matlock was, for the most part, the fact that Perry Mason showed up late in the episodes. The beginning of the episode would deal with the crime itself, and the various people who could possibly have committed that crime, and then halfway through, Perry Mason would somehow become involved and solve the case. The 50th Anniversary edition is four discs, full of some great episodes and even better guest stars. A very young James Coburn, a very young Robert Redford, an aging Bette Davis, and many others. Can you imagine Matlock with Julia Roberts and Robert DeNiro as guest stars? No? That’s why Perry Mason was better.