Cynical Cinema

There are a lot of problems with Hell Is For Heroes.  It happens to be Bob Newhart’s big-screen debut, and he does his silly, sissy bit very well.  But it’s sort of an odd thing to see him doing a funny phone bit in the Newhart comedic style when one of his buddies is about to be blown to pieces.  The budget on this movie was so low that only the eight or nine soldiers who make up the main story are ever shown.  Which makes it seem like an awful small war effort.  This was World War II, after all.  More than nine soldiers were there to fight the Germans.  And apparently James Coburn, who plays one of the soldiers in the company, was so concerned about the idea that the film was going to suck that he tried to convince the director, Don Siegel, to kill off his character as soon as possible.

But Siegel’s film does not suck.  For a small-budget, small-scope war movie, this one is cool.  And the main reason is Steve McQueen.  Coming off the Magnificent Seven, which brought him international attention, McQueen served notice in this film that he was ready for the superstardom of The Great Escape, Bullitt, and The Cincinnatti Kid.  His performance in this film is mesmerizing.  He plays a bad-ass soldier, a private who has been demoted after many demotions for bad behaviour.  Under fire, he is the best there is, but when he’s off duty he’s kind of a loose cannon maniac.  When his unit is left holding their position opposite a German pillbox on the Siegfried Line with only seven men, they need to figure out a way to make the Germans think their numbers are far greater than they really are.

And this is basically the movie.  When all their attempts to convince the Germans that they have a huge force finally run out, McQueen takes it upon himself to lead an attack on the German pillbox, knowing it’s the only way they can stave off a slaughter.  And it’s him that makes this film worthwhile.  This is the film that started Steve McQueen on the path to becoming the absolute, all-time greatest manly antihero in movie history.  The Great Escape, Pappillon, The Getaway, and countless other movies followed, but Hell Is For Heroes started the run.  And for that reason, this good little movie is worth seeking out.

Matlock was a series that began in 1986. At that time, it’s audience was, as is my understanding, comprised entirely of people over the age of 70. I know this because I watch the Simpsons - Maaatloooock! The first season of the show replaced another cautionary tale of 80s television, The A-Team, on ABC on Friday nights. That first season saw it’s release on DVD today, courtesy of Paramount Home Entertainment. Now, I don’t want to question Paramount’s judgement - they have been good to me. But exactly who do they think might be buying this? The people who watched the show in Season One are now, at least, 92 years old. Which means that half of them are dead, and the other half are old-timers who are resistant to new technologies, and who don’t own a DVD player.

I have a lawyer. He is fairly competent, I think. He knows his way around the law, and he is doing some fine work for me right now. And if I ever get arrested for that murder I never committed, I would likely hire him to save me. However, while I’m certain he would be able to defend me on legal grounds, I doubt he would have the ability to investigate and solve the crime all by himself. For that, I would rely on the police. Matlock, on the other hand, can do it all. Amazingly, in every episode of Matlock over the course of the show’s nine years and 195 episodes, Matlock was never asked to defend someone who had actually committed a crime. This is the kind of luck that befell Jessica Fletcher only in reverse, on that other much-loved-by-octogenarians show, Murder She Wrote. Matlock was anchored by Andy Griffith, who plays Ben Matlock as some kind of cross between Columbo and Perry Mason. Both of which were superior shows to Matlock.

Which brings me to another DVD set released today. The 50th Anniversary edition of Perry Mason, a show anchored by Raymond Burr. I like Andy Griffith, and I like Raymond Burr, but what made Perry Mason better than Matlock was, for the most part, the fact that Perry Mason showed up late in the episodes. The beginning of the episode would deal with the crime itself, and the various people who could possibly have committed that crime, and then halfway through, Perry Mason would somehow become involved and solve the case. The 50th Anniversary edition is four discs, full of some great episodes and even better guest stars. A very young James Coburn, a very young Robert Redford, an aging Bette Davis, and many others. Can you imagine Matlock with Julia Roberts and Robert DeNiro as guest stars? No? That’s why Perry Mason was better.