My Little Pony: World’s Biggest Tea Party Live. Oh my pink goodness. (**2/10)
I had to watch Paramount Home Entertainment’s My Little Pony: World’s Biggest Tea Party Live, that comes out tomorrow, September 16th. I didn’t have to watch it because I have young girls at home, or because my girlfriend has some kind of holdover love of My Little Pony from her childhood. No, I had to watch it because I could not believe this would exist. This is one of the most inexplicable DVDs I have ever come across. It is exactly how it sounds - a My Little Pony show, about the world’s biggest tea party, and it is done - live. It’s a stage production of a bunch of people dressed up in giant stuffed My Little Pony costumes dancing around the stage singing irritating songs about friendship and dressing up and sewing and hosting a tea party. And it was filmed. And put on DVD. I thought it might appeal to really girly stoners…and maybe it would.
But as I watched, I thought - where’s Focus On The Family on this one? Where’s the righteous indignation from James Dobson and his ilk at this movie that is so obviously designed to turn children gay? The cameras constantly pan to the audience to show little kids, girls and boys, waving sparklers and singing along to songs about wearing pink clothes! The songs are all about sewing, and baking, and…pink! The whole thing is hosted by a giant purple dinosaur. (Not Barney.) Focus On The Family was able to point out the gay Teletubbie because he was purple. I think they’re going to want to see this one. In fact, at one point, the purple thing and some ladybugs are singing about getting dressed up for the tea party, and he suggests that they all get pretty new dresses. But then he catches himself, and says that perhaps only the ladies should buy dresses.
Well, Focus On The Family is a weirdo organization, and I’m not going to send them a copy of this DVD. They need no help being bonkers. And watching My Little Pony’s World’s Biggest Tea Party Live will not turn your kids gay. It may make them sing, which will be irritating, and it may make them dance, which could be cute. And it will definitely drive you, the parents, nuts. But that’s about it. It’s harmless, but annoying.