Cynical Cinema

Pick of the week:  Iron Man (10/10):  Had it not been for The Dark Knight, this would have been the greatest comic book movie of the summer, perhaps of all time.
Download Iron Man

TV Show of the week:  Lewis Black’s Root of all Evil (9/10):  Perhaps the funniest show on TV right now.  Lewis Black is amazing!  So too are the comedians working with him.
Download Lewis Black’s Root of all Evil

Re-issue of the week:  My Three Sons, Season One Volume One (8/10):  A very surprising show that remains very funny fifty years later.  Fred MacMurray is amazing.
Download My Three Sons Season One Volume One

Forgetting Sarah Marshall:  This is one I’m really looking forward to seeing.  The same guys who did 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, and Superbad have, from all accounts, scored again.

Savage Grace:  Julianne Moore stars in the true story of a woman who marries into a ridiculously wealthy family.  Her son comes along with her, and tragedy ensues.  A tear-jerker, I imagine.

Finding Amanda:  Matthew Broderick attempts to save his marriage by going to Las Vegas to save his wife’s neice from a life of drugs and prostitution.  Brittany Snow stars too, which is good.

Taxi To The Dark Side:  Another movie I am very much looking forward to seeing.  A documentary about the Bush administration’s use of torture, set agains the backdrop of the kidnap and murder of an innocent Afghani taxi driver by U.S. forces.

Something Beneath:  Slime under an office building creates hallucinations and terror for people.  In the office building.  Stars Kevin Sorbo!  Remember Kevin Sorbo?

Jack And Jill vs. The World:  Freddie Prinze Jr. is still making movies!  And this is one of them!  A fiery, free-spirited girl changes the life of a bored, button down suit-wearing guy…where have I heard this plot before?  Oh yeah.  Every other Freddie Prinze Jr. movie.

Bigger Stronger Faster:  Documentary about America’s win-at-all-costs mentality, and the steroid culture.  Could be very interesting.

Click And Clack:  As The Wrench Turns (7/10):  A surprisingly good, clever animated series produced by PBS about PBS.  Specifically, two radio car mechanics who run a PBS call-in show.
Download Click and Clack’s As The Wrench Turns

Numb3rs:  Season Four (3/10):  When a show is written centered around a guy who is a math genius, it needs to be a lot smarter than this one is.
Download Numb3rs Fourth Season

VeggieTales:  Where’s God When I’m S-Scared? (6/10):  VeggieTales continues to be good.  The songs continue to be the best part.  And it continues to be a bit too preachy.
Download VeggieTales:  Where’s God When I’m S-Scared

Casper The Friendly Ghost:  Trick or Treat (5/10):  The classic cartoon comes out with a Hallowe’en episode.  Because Hallowe’en is something you need to plan for a month in advance.
Download Casper Trick or Treat

Fat Albert’s Hallowe’en Special (5/10):  The classic cartoon comes out with a Hallowe’en episode.  Because Hallowe’en is…well, you know the rest.
Download Fat Albert’s Hallowe’en Special

Also out:

Buried Alive
The Neighbor
TKO
Dora The Explorer Saves the Snow Princess
Russell Peters:  Red White And Brown
Werewolf:  The Devil’s Hound
Crusade:  A March Through Time
My Name Is Earl:  Season Three
The Rebel
Soccer Mom
Universal Remote

Next week:

You Don’t Mess With The Zohan
The Visitor
Kill Switch
Stuck
The Happening
Joy Ride 2:  Dead Ahead
Jack Brooks:  Monster Slayer
Pulse 2:  Afterlife
Angel
30 Rock:  Season 2
Backyardigans:  The Escape From Fairytale Village
Chapter 27
The Devil’s Chair
Dora The Explorer Celebrates Three Kings Day
Harold
Keeping Up With The Kardashians:  Season One
The Note
Roxy Hunter and the Secret of the Shaman
The Simpsons:  Season Eleven
The Smurfs:  Season One, Volume Two
Strait Jacket
A Very British Gangster
Care Bears:  Flurries of Fun
Dog Gone
Corner Gas:  Season Five
The Good Boy
Intervention
Sick Nurses
The Memory Keeper’s Daughter
Robot Chicken:  Season Three
Sleeping Beauty
South Park:  The Cult of Cartman
Up The Yangtzee
Holiday Treats TV set
Mission Impossible:  Season Five
Beverly Hillbillies:  Second Season
Brotherhood:  Second Season
Wonder Pets Save The Nutcracker

Iron Man is amazing. Not only is it one of the biggest, best summer blockbusters, it’s actually one of the best movies I’ve seen this year. Robert Downey Jr., although a seemingly strange choice, is perfectly cast as the titular superhero. Tony Stark is a billionaire weapons manufacturer who sleeps with hundreds of hot women, lives the life of Hugh Hefner, and uses his genius brain to create some of the most devastating weapons in the world. He is kidnaped by terrorists, who attempt to force him to build a replica of his powerful Jericho missile. While appearing to build that missile for them, Stark is in fact building a robotic suit of armor that will allow him to make his escape and, eventually, turn him into Iron Man. With shrapnel near his heart, he must build a device to keep his heart running while he fights the forces of evil. This device ends up, of course, being Iron Man’s Achilles heel. Or, his kryptonite, if you will.

And of course Iron Man is a lot like a lot of the super hero movies out there. One thing I have always thought is that the first movies in these series is always the best. The movie where we learn about the origins of the super hero, and he undergoes a character transformation that leads him to become Batman, or Spiderman, or the Incredible Hulk, or what have you. In subsequent installments of these series, the hero is already fully formulated, so there is no more room for character growth. It all comes down to action, explosions and whether or not the bad guys are any good. Iron Man is true to that form, in that Stark undergoes a character transformation as well as a physical one. He decides that his company will no longer build weapons to kill other people, but rather will begin focusing on doing good in the world. The one problem I have here is that just like every other movie like this one, his transformation changes his outlook on everything. Here is a guy who used to get every woman he wanted. Now that he has become “good”, he begins to think about settling down with just one woman. Is that what “good” people do? Couldn’t he still live the life of George Clooney, and still be a good guy? Or are all good people monogamous?

Well, it is Gwyneth Paltrow, who plays Stark’s long-time assistant, the cheesily-named Pepper Potts. I am not normally a fan of Paltrow’s, but she is very well cast in this role, as the meek yet competent and smart assistant to a lascivious playboy billionaire genius…or who knows? Maybe anyone could play that role. Not anyone, however, could have played Obadiah Stane, Stark’s partner in the weapons company. Jeff Bridges is magnificent, with a shaved head and a certain amount of comforting sensibility that masks his darker intentions. I hate to call a role in a comic book movie a “tour de force”, but Bridges and Downey both come close. Terence Howard is in here as well, but he is badly underused as a military advisor and sometime babysitter of Stark’s, but it appears as though he is being saved for something much bigger in the second Iron Man movie.

Jon Favreau directed this adaptation of the comic book, and he shows an absolute command of the entire movie, as well as a love for comic books. The scenes where Downey is trying out his suit for the first time are quite funny, and seem to be taken (I can only assume) straight from the silly middle pages of the comic book upon which this is based. And the actual fighting done between Iron Man and the terrorists, or Iron Man and the bad super hero at the end of the film, are exceptionally well done. This movie is absolutely pulse-pounding, beginning to end, and for me it ranks with Batman, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, Blade and Superman as the finest comic book movie adaptations of all time. Watch it! Iron Man comes out September 30th on DVD and Blu-Ray (get the Blu-Ray if you have it!) From Paramount Home Entertainment.

I recently reviewed Season One of A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila for Cynical Cinema.

http://blog.rogersradiointernet.com/cynicalcinema/2008/04/15/a-shot-at-love-with-tila-tequila-out-todayapocalypse-tomorrow-010/

  I made the suggestion that not only is this the worst TV show of all time, it might also be the worst single thing in all of civilization. I further went on to suggest that this TV show might be the most obvious sign of the impending apocalypse, and that perhaps we should all begin building our bunkers right now. And now, another TV show - one that is actually good - has made the same case. Lewis Black’s The Root Of All Evil is my new favourite show on television. Mostly because I really enjoy Lewis Black. He gets two comedians to debate two cultural phenomena who might be the Root of All Evil, and Black presides over the debate like a judge. They’ll do Dick Cheney vs. Paris Hilton, or Oprah or the Catholic Church vs. facebook. It’s hilarious, terribly politically incorrect, and very smart. And the one where everything came together for me was when they debated who was the Root of All Evil - Kim Jong Il or Tila Tequila?

As it turns out, Tila Tequila won. It was found that she is, in fact, doing less harm to the world than is Kim Jong Il. I respectfully disagree. Hers is a TV show where she looked for love in a bisexual way with both men and women - as Lewis Black says in the episode, achieving the impossible, actually dumbing down MTV. And after “Season One”, which I was unable to watch until the end for fear my brain would collapse and I would start speaking in internet lingo “I need to dl my lmao lol omfg, wtf?”, and I would perhaps be mistaken for someone speaking crazy-guy gibberish, and be locked away somewhere. And I have golf today. And that’s my ripple of evil.  But season one of A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila is no longer the worst show on TV. Now, there is a season two. I guess she did NOT find true love at the end of season one. Which amazes me. But, season two of Tila Tequila is no longer the worst show coming to TV. No, apparently - I have discovered this through several sources - there will be a spinoff dating show! A spinoff. Of this show. Starring the creepy Italian guy in the speedo from Season One.

Which means that now, you can be famous simply by being the most annoying guy on a reality show that was created to give a starring vehicle to someone who became famous by being the most annoying person on the internet. MySpace, specifically. And THAT is the root of all evil. Or, at the very least, the Apocalypse. This almost makes Tyra Banks look halfway credible. But at least it will give Lewis Black and his terrific program even more fodder with which to entertain me and skewer crappy television “personalities”. And I can’t wait for that day to come. Lewis Black’s Root Of All Evil is one of the funniest shows ever, and Season One comes out on DVD September 30th from Paramount Home Entertainment.

Numb3rs is a show with a laudable premise. It attempts to educate people about the glorious, bad-ass side of math and physics while entertaining them and catching bad guys. You see, the cops have recruited a mathematical genius to help them solve their more difficult cases. Which, in the end, could really make for a cool show. But…we don’t get that. What we get is a pretty standard template for each episode. A crime is committed, and the cops are investigating. Which proceeds like a normal cop show, with regular filming and standard acting. Then the cops hit a snag, and the math guy happens to be walking by. He comes up with a way to solve the problem, mathematically. He explains this theory using some kind of analogy, and the camera starts jump-cutting, switches to black and white, and the soundtrack funks up. Like the math portion of this show is a music video, while the rest is CSI: Nerd. The math portion, it turns out, is either something obvious the cops should be doing anyway, or it’s a stretch on credibility that this mathematical solution could ever be applied to this problem.

The one episode in the Fourth Season that illustrates this best is one that has to do with street racing. To determine exactly what happened when a street racer crashes into a café and kills a man, the math guy turns to an engineer friend who happens to have the exact car-crash simulation software that can solve the case. Over the course of several music-video-edited montages, he discovers that someone else must have crashed into the car before it ran into the café. After many analogies and simulations, they determine what exactly happened, and then - it has nothing to do with the resolution of the episode. At all. It turns out the real question is “who murdered the street car racing driver”, and not “how did this happen”. In fact, the math stuff makes no difference whatsoever to the outcome of the show. But then, that’s fairly standard with this program. The mathematical “genius” moments are shoehorned in without really being essential to any episode.

Now, there are some good actors on this program, and the actual cop stuff is just about as good as any of the cop stuff on other similar programs. But the one thing that slows the show down is the one thing that is supposed to make it unique. And that’s too bad. Using an analogy to the behaviour of lions and jackals when discussing the behavious of humans who are being blackmailed doesn’t ring true. Then the mathematical model that will plug the name of the real killer into the equation strains credibility. Anyone who thinks they are learning something about math by watching Numb3rs is mistaken. I’m not even sure they will be entertained. Numb3rs, Season Four comes out on DVD Tuesday, September 30th from Paramount Home Entertainment.

Paramount Home Entertainment is releasing yet another old-time, classic show from the 60s. While some of these shows are painfully dated and seem more stupid than quaint, My Three Sons is not among them. This is a TV series about which I had very little knowledge. I have been a Fred MacMurray fan for a long time. Swing High, Swing Low with Carole Lombard. The Caine Mutiny, The Trail of Lonesome Pine, and of course the magnificent Double Indemnity with Barbara Stanwyck. I’ve followed MacMurray’s career through dozens of movies, some lousy, some great, and one all-time classic. And I never knew he did television. At all. Apparently, he starred in My Three Sons. For twelve years. And I never knew it existed.

But I am awfully glad now that I do. This show, amazingly, was hilarious. And I say amazingly because I assume that any sitcom from the 50s or 60s that isn’t named I Love Lucy or The Hooneymooners must be fairly lousy. Because it isn’t a cultural icon and I don’t see re-runs of it all over the place. But My Three Sons is actually very, very good. And Fred MacMurray is excellent! His comedic timing is terrific, he manages to convey an Atticus Finch-type wisdom, and the dynamic between him and the three boys is remarkable. Also great is William Frawley, who plays the boys’ grandfather Bub. A remarkable show that has either become completely forgotten or has somehow managed to slip past me my entire life, My Three Sons is well worth picking up. Paramount Home Entertainment releases Season One September 30th.

A show that is actually very good is coming out on September 30th courtesy of Paramount Home Entertainment. Now, before I go ahead and explain about the show, let me explain why I used the word “actually”. Because on the surface, this show appears to be one that will be terrible. Here’s the deal - it’s a cartoon show, produced by PBS, about PBS. I know, hearing the word “PBS” instantly puts one in the mindframe of a person who is in danger of lapsing into a coma simply from boredom. And the idea of a PBS-produced cartoon program is cringe-inducing. And further, the fact that it’s a PBS-produced program about public broadcasting seems like a double dose of snore-fest.

But. This is not the case with Click And Clack:  As The Wrench Turns. Which is, “actually”, a terrific show with clever humour and politically astute commentary. The show centres around two guys who run a call-in car repair radio show on PBS. They are loafers, they suck at their jobs, but hey - it’s PBS! I was ready to hate this. Then, in the first episode, the two brothers decide to run for president, hire a James Carville clone to work their campaign, and manage to create some really pointed social commentary. The next episode is all about outsourcing, as the radio guys outsource their jobs to India. It’s an even more biting satire, and extremely clever. While on the surface Click And Clack seems like a bad idea, it isn’t. It’s a very good idea. And picking it up is a good idea too.

Alliance Films is releasing another VeggieTales DVD on Tuesday, September 30th. Where’s God When I’m S-Scared is just another VeggieTales DVD. Nothing terribly special about it, it’s just an episode about being scared at night and God helping out somehow. Because God, you see, is bigger than whatever it is that frightens you. So there is no point in being terrified of the dark, or the night, or Julia Stiles, because God can kick all of their asses. Or, at least, that’s what I learned from this. And although VeggieTales remains a little too preachy for my liking, at least it does the “good” kind of preaching. Like, everybody is worth something, and don’t discriminate, and don’t be selfish. That sort of thing. You know, the good religion. And this particular VeggieTales DVD features the best part of the show - the songs.

A few months ago, Alliance released a DVD full of nothing but the silly songs from VeggieTales. Those remain the best part of the show, and the two little episodes on this DVD are no different. A song about Daniel being thrown to the lions is particularly entertaining, as is the bizarre song about a water buffalo. There is even a special feature episode of something called 3-2-1 Penguins, which is another animated show that appears to have nothing to do with VeggieTales at all, except that it’s kinda preachy too. That one you can skip.

Casper: Trick Or Treat is really the Casper The Friendly Ghost Classics Collection Volume One. Alliance Films is releasing the DVD Tuesday, September 30th, as a way to get some Hallowe’en stuff out to the shelves before the day comes up. While Casper must appeal to some nostalgia buffs out there, I’m not sure it holds up over time. Casper, you see, is a friendly ghost. And he lives with three other ghosts, who are irritated at Casper’s friendliness. You see, they feel that the main purpose of a ghost is to scare people. And Casper isn’t really living up to his end of the being-a-ghost bargain. Except that in reality, he is.

You see, much to Casper’s chagrin, he does scare people. Simply by being a ghost. In his Hallowe’en special, he can go around outside, and no one is scared, because it’s Hallowe’en and everyone assumes he’s dressed up as a ghost. But when they see him passing through doors and trees and so forth, they realize he’s for real, and they’re terrified. So the other three ghosts really have no reason to be upset. Whether he likes it or not, he IS scaring people, and there is actually no problem at all. While Casper: Trick Or Treat is pretty good for nostalgia, it isn’t terribly good for Hallowe’en.

Alliance Films is releasing Fat Albert’s Hallowe’en Special on Tuesday, September 30th. That gives you a full month to load up on Hallowe’en-themed cartoon series like Casper and Fat Albert. Like I said about Casper, I’m not entirely sure how many people are going to leap to the store to purchase Fat Albert’s Hallowe’en Special simply because it’s being offered around Hallowe’en time. It strikes me that it may well be a better idea to get a bunch of scary movies and go from there.

However, if you have small children who are not yet of an age where a family viewing of Texas Chainsaw Massacre is appropriate, perhaps this is the ideal product. Fat Albert’s Hallowe’en Special really does work for children. Bill Cosby managed to give this show a certain amount of charm even in the most bland episodes. The Hallowe’en Special comes with two bonus episodes, introduced by a very young Cosby himself, and they are better than the Hallowe’en one. One is about a prankster who gets his comeuppance, and one is about the silliness of superstitions. Just the kind of stuff that educates kids while entertaining them. If, you know, you’re kids appreciate Bill Cosby’s sense of humour.

Hollywood is shedding a few tears today.  Many people say Steve McQueen was the ultimate man’s man in the movies.  Others cast votes for John Wayne, or Clint Eastwood.  But not me.  As far as I’m concerned, the greatest man’s man in movie history passed away yesterday, September 26th, at the age of 83.  I must confess, although I have been a Newman fanatic for years, I didn’t expect this news to hit me so hard.  He had been battling cancer for years, and we all knew it was coming.  But even outside the movies, he still seemed like some kind of masculine, indestructible superman.  Even at the age of 80 he was still racing cars and living a very vital lifestyle.  Paul Newman can’t die!  He’s Cool Hand Luke, he’s a race car driver, he’s immortal!

And, in a very real way, the classy, genuine Paul Newman, like so many other great actors, is immortal.  John Wanye, Steve McQueen, Humphrey Bogart, James Cagney - they will never be forgotten.  And neither will Newman.  Here are ten ways never to forget this incredible man, one of the greatest actors ever to appear on the silver screen:

10.    The Hudsucker Proxy:  The Coen Brothers’ first real attempt at screwball comedy.  A huge budget (for the Coens, at the time) and a terrific cast.  Tim Robbins is on his way upstairs to show Paul Newman, the corporate executive, his idea for a new children’s toy.  At the same time, Charles Durning, the company’s president, is flying out the boardroom window.  Newman sees an opportunity to install the dimwitted Robbins in Durning’s place, so he can take over the company.  Newman is delightful as the scheming, manipulative villain - the type Frank Capra could easily have created in the 40s.  Sidney J. Mussberger is one of Newman’s best roles.

9.    Road To Perdition:  Once again, Newman is a fairly bad guy in this one, playing an aging Irish crime boss.  His main hitman, Tom Hanks, has been his sort of surrogate son for many years.  But when Newman’s biological son, (Daniel Craig) decides to wipe out Hanks’ family, Hanks comes after them hard.  Jude Law also stars as a rival hitman sent to take out Hanks, and Newman is once again magnificent in a supporting role as the kindly yet dangerous John Rooney.

8.    The Color of Money:  The only Oscar Newman ever won.  Of course, he was really winning more for his entire body of work, and not specifically for this movie.  He is still tremendous, reprising his role as Fast Eddie Felson from the classic film The Hustler.  Taking young Tom Cruise under his wing, Newman manages to take the George C. Scott character from the original film, combine him with his own Felson character, and create an entirely new character.  He is going down the road toward becoming exactly the type of man who ruined him so many years earlier.  Newman conveys the seething turmoil within his character in a top-notch performance.

7.    The Towering Inferno:  Not the greatest movie of Newman’s career, but an excellent chance to see three of the greatest manly actors in history go toe-to-toe.  To toe.  Newman is the architect of a gigantic skyscraper, William Holden is the man who built that skyscraper, and Steve McQueen is the fire chief who gets called in when that skyscraper burns to the ground.  Fred Astaire and Faye Dunaway also star, but it’s the heroic men who make this movie resonate to this day.  McQueen, Holden, and of course Newman.  Doug Roberts belongs on a list of Newman’s great roles.

6.    Slap Shot:  Certainly one of Newman’s most beloved movies, and one of his most memorable roles.  The greatest sports movie of all time, Slap Shot is so much more than just the Hanson Brothers and Denis Lemieux and the play-by-play guys.  It is Newman, through and through.  Newman just oozes effortless charm as he sleeps with women, inspires his team, and does what he can to hold a failing hockey club together.  But there is something deeper going on within his character, a sort of resignation, sadness and pain that he balances perfectly with the humour of the hockey fighting.  Reggie Dunlop is the most memorable fictional character in the history of sports movies, thanks to Paul Newman.

5.    The Verdict:  An alcoholic loser of a lawyer (Newman) finds a case that could mean either his redemption or his destruction.  Frankly, there isn’t much difference between The Verdict and other, similar lawyer-and-courtroom dramas.  Erin Brockovich, or A Civil Action.  The biggest difference is Newman himself.  As the drunken bum lawyer, he is simply stunning.  A familiar story is elevated to greatness by not only one of the greatest performances of Newman’s career, but one of the greatest performances in movies.  Ever.  Paul Newman makes Frank Galvin an iconic figure.

4.    The Sting:  A far more lighthearted entry than The Verdict or even Slap Shot, The Sting is the ultimate, well, sting movie.  Newman’s second brilliant pairing with Robert Redford, he manages to infuse his character with more than just light comedic silliness as he and Redford set up the ultimate sting to nail the local racketeer, Doyle Donnegan (played by Robert Shaw).  Newman once again plays a drunk, dragging himself out of his stupor to get Donnegan.  Henry Gondorff is one of Paul Newman’s greatest characters.

3.    Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid:  Newman’s first magnificent collaboration with Redford and director George Roy Hill (who later directed The Sting as well).  One of the greatest western movies ever made, Redford and Newman once again inject humanity and pathos into some pretty light fare.  And is there a greater final image than the two of them bursting out of that doorway, guns raised?  Paul Newman, for ever more, will be Butch Cassidy.

2.    The Hustler:  Again, Newman puts in one of the greatest performances in movie history.  A young pool hustler taken under the wing of the malicious and sadistic George C. Scott (also one of the great performances in history), Newman creates memorable moment after memorable moment.  There may be no greater scene in his entire career than the one where he takes on Minnesota Fats (Jackie Gleason), in a marathon pool game.  There is no one else on earth who could have done what Newman did in this movie with the character of Fast Eddie Felson.

1.    Cool Hand Luke:  The ultimate guy movie.  The ultimate prison movie.  The ultimate fight-the-system movie.  And the ultimate Paul Newman movie.  This is one of my all-time favourites, I watch it at least once every six months.  There has never been a better tough-guy movie made, and I include all of John Wayne and Clint Eastwood’s oeuvre in that sentence.  This is Newman’s best film, his best performance, and Luke Jackson is one of the top five characters ever created by anyone, in any movie, ever.  If you want to remember Paul Newman, watch this movie today.  And then once every six months for the rest of your life.

Hollywood has lost one of it’s great icons, one of it’s genuinely good people, and one of the greatest method actors who ever lived.  RIP, Paul Newman.

There have been many little indie films that have done well with the theme of vigilante justice.  And some bigger-budget ones that haven’t done so well.  The main reason the big budget ones have done poorly (aside from the amazing Death Wish 4, which arms Charles Bronson with a rocket launcher at what appears to be a retirement home) is that they are merely jacked-up versions of the low-budget movies.  And the low-budget movies usually work because vigilante justice is something that is best served in grainy, gritty film-making.  The best of the bunch was Death Wish, which was the first of it’s kind and really changed the genre.  The next-best was Boondock Saints, which was incredibly stylish and managed to infuse Tarantino-esque cool, great lead performances, and some quality humour into a movie that changed the genre further.

Then there were the also-rans.  A ton of also-rans.  Death Wish 2, 3, and 5.  Hero Wanted, Death Sentence, and The Brave One.  And many, many more.  Outlaw fits somewhere in the middle, and at the same time it manages to change the genre once more.  A tight, gritty little film out of Britain, Outlaw is a film about five people who have, in one way or another, been the victims of violence.  As in every vigilante justice movie, the violence that finds these people is arbitrary, and goes completely unpunished.  The only way to get retribution is to go after those thugs that wronged them.  Also, as in every other successful vigilante movie, there is a cop who is helping them all out (Bob Hoskins). 

But that’s where the similarities end.  Because it is a group of people setting out to see justice done, and not just a lone gunman a la Charles Bronson, many different stories are told.  Sean Bean plays a soldier who has returned from Iraq to find his wife being unfaithful, and is unable to function in real society.  He meets a creepy weirdo security guard in his hotel, who sees all his guns and starts to idolize him.  This security guard has dreams of vigilantism, and recruits other people to join the cause.  Those people include a young man who has been beaten by a group of thugs because they thought he was gay, and another young man who has never been attacked but who lives in constant fear of the possibility.  And the last member of the team is a district attorney whose wife and unborn child have been killed as a warning for him to drop the case of a local gangster.  His story is tough to believe, that he would join this angry mob and completely turn his back on everything he believes, while still seemingly maintaining a rational mind. 

But that’s one of the things I like about this movie.  The characters, in a lot of ways, don’t make any sense.  Their motivations are clear, but their reasoning for going through with this gang violence thing is not.  Although Sean Bean is a military guy, an experienced soldier, we never get the sense that he is particularly good at it, and although he is the de-facto leader of this group because of his time in Iraq, he doesn’t really seem to have any real leadership skills, and he isn’t that impressive a fighter.  I like that because it’s realistic.  And I also like the other characters and their doubts and their sometimes half-assed participation in the project. 

That being said, for a movie that is more character-driven than action-oriented, there is not quite enough explanation for the actions of the individual characters.  I understand the initial anger and the desire for revenge.  But from there, I don’t quite know where these characters are going.  The two characters that make total sense to me are the soldier, who is doing this thing because he desperately needs something to do, and the psychopath who is doing this because he likes being involved in the violence.  But the others remain in a murky sort of quasi-morality that is never really resolved.  Hoskins, also, is an enigma, as the cop who helps them because he wants to see justice done, but who seems at other times not to care about his own job or catching criminals at all.

All in all, though, Outlaw is a solid, tight, gritty little indie movie that is unlike any other vigilante justice movie ever made.  And that’s a good thing.  It came out on DVD September 2nd, from Peace Arch Entertainment.

Hi, it’s Jen, Eric’s girflriend. He recruited me to do a review of Sex And The City for him, because he felt that he could not in good conscience review it himself. He is, after all, not the target audience.

The movie takes place three years after the show ended on T.V.

Charlotte and Harry have their adopted Daughter Lily, Miranda and Steve are living in Brooklyn, Samantha and Smith are living in Hollywood and of course Carrie and Mr. Big are moving in together in New York.

While Carrie and Mr. Big are looking for an apartment she calls him the boyfriend and he asks the same question that I often do.” Aren’t I a little too old to be introduced as the boyfriend?” (Or in my case, “the girlfriend?”)

I digress. They then decide to get married but it’s not a romantic proposal, it’s more like a ” Hey why not, I want to be with you so let’s do it.”

With that, the movie begins, with high fashion, wedding gowns, shoes and of course all the gratuitous sex. Lots of eye candy for the women…not so much for the men.

During the two and a half hour run time of Sex And The City, the women go through emotional rollercoasters. With Mr. Big not showing up for the wedding Carrie is heartbroken again, Steve has a one night stand on Miranda,

Samantha gains weight because she and Smith aren’t having sex, and Charlotte is now pregnant. The movie has everything - tears, laughter and of course romance. For those who loved Sex And The City it ties it up in a pretty package.

For those of you who haven’t, this movie is about friendships that we as women have with each other and our relashionships.

With the extended scences and special features on the two disc DVD, this is a Sex In The City must see. And for the men they would learn more about why women are crazy and why they love us for it. The special two-disc edition of Sex And The City comes out tomorrow, September 23rd, from Alliance Films.

Pick of the Week:  Sex And The City (9/10):  To be fair, my girlfriend reviewed this and I did not.  So…for the women.  This is the pick of the week.
Download Sex And The City

Re-Issue of the Week:  The Godfather Trilogy Blu-Ray (10/10):  The greatest movie trilogy of all time on the ideal format, Blu-Ray.  It doesn’t get any better than that.
Download Godfather Trilogy (Blu-Ray)

TV series box of the week:  This American Life Season One (8/10):  A really neat show that is like an American version of Wayne Rostad’s On The Road Again.  Only, it’s good.
Download This American Life:  Season One

Deception:  Ewan MacGregor, Hugh Jackman.  An accountant gets introduced to the world of sex clubs, only to find out there’s some kind of game being played…at least it involves Natasha Henstridge and Maggie Q.

Shrek The Third (Blu-Ray) (4/10):  This was not a good movie.  But the kids like it and it looks amazing on Blu-Ray.
Download Shrek The Third (Blu-Ray)

Madagascar (Blu-Ray) (5/10):  A slightly better movie.  But the kids like it and it looks amazing on Blu-Ray.

Leatherheads:  George Clooney’s football-related follow-up to Michael Clayton.  Could be good, but it DOES involve Renee Zellweger…be warned.

Run Fatboy Run (4/10):  Simon Pegg and his friends do everything they can to prevent this David Schwimmer-directed movie from sucking.  In the end, it isn’t enough.
Download Run Fatboy Run

Pathology:  A dangerous cat-and-mous murder game gets played at a prestigious pathology school…because they have those.

The Foot Fist Way:  This is actually the English translation of Tae Kwon Do.  A Tae Kwon Do teacher goes a little nutty when he discovers his wife has had an affair.  Oh, it’s a comedy.

Naked Fear:  This could be truly awesome.  Remember Surviving The Game, with Ice-T?  How he was released into the woods and hunted for sport by Gary Busey and Rutger Hauer?  OK, this is like that.  Only instead of homeless Ice-T, it’s naked strippers.  I’m not even joking here.  Inexplicably, this stars Joe Mantegna.

Copycat:  A serial killer stalks the daughter of one of his victims.  She learns about weirdos like Jeffrey Dahmer and Ed Gein.  And then she stalks the killer, who also stalks her…and so forth.

Rob And Big season three (3/10):  Two guys, not unlike your own buddies, have a huge house and unlimited funds.  And they’re on MTV.  Neat, huh?
Download Rob and Big:  Complete Third Season

CSI New York Season Four (8/10):  This is still the best of the three CSI franchises.
Download CSI New York:  Season Four

Also Out:

Boston Legal Season Four
Brothers and Sisters Complete Second Season
Di-Gata Defenders
Grossology:  The Perfect Stink
The Price Of Sugar
Franklin and the Turtlelake Treasure
Jane And The Dragon:  A Dragon’s Tail
Samantha Who?  Complete First Season

Next Week:

Iron Man (9/10)
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Taxi To The Dark Side
Savage Grace
Finding Amanda
Beaufort
Something Beneath
Jack And Jill vs. The World
Bigger Stronger Faster
Crusade:  A March Through Time
My Name Is Earl, Season Three
The Rebel
Soccer Mom
Universal Remote
Buried Alive
Dora The Explorer:  Dora Saves The Snow Princess
The Neighbour
Russell Peters:  Red White And Brown
TKO
Werewolf:  The Devil’s Hound

First of all, let me just say, as a reasonably fat guy, that Simon Pegg is not fat enough to be called “Fatboy”, as he is in the title of this movie.  Run Fatboy Run makes the assumption that because Pegg is not in the ridiculously good shape of Hank Azaria that he must therefore be fat.  Really, he’s just lazy and un-motivated.  Not the same thing. 

The idea here is that Pegg once left Thandie Newton at the altar while she was pregnant with his child.  Which, again, stretches credibility.  Leaving Thandie Newton?  Anywhere?  Let alone at the altar - seems unlikely to me.  But that’s where we are.  It is now a few years later, and he remains unmotivated and lazy, but loves his son.  He meets his former lover’s new boyfriend (Azaria), who appears to be a kind, decent, perfect sort of superman.  His perfection seems to be based almost entirely on the fact that he runs marathons - for charity!  If that is the only criteria that is needed for perfection, it has become ridiculously easy to attain.  I mean, Gandhi never ran marathons for charity!  What a slacker.

Simon Pegg wants Thandie Newton back (understandably), and somehow comes to the amazing leap in logic that running a marathon for charity will enable him to achieve perfection as well, and therefore win her heart (not so understandably).  So he begins to train for the marathon, where he will compete against her new flame.  Suppose someone left you at the altar and gave no reason.  And you hooked up with a fantastic new person who happens to be a great chef.  And the old lover tries to win you back by cooking you a hot dog.  Would this work on anyone?

Of course, because Simon Pegg wants Thandie Newton back, you know that the movie will have to end with Mr. Perfect out of the picture.  And you know that the way to get Mr. Perfect out of the picture is to discover after a while that he isn’t, in fact, that perfect.  And when that moment comes, it is so obvious, and so painfully ordinary, that you really wish that director David Schwimmer had put a little more effort in here.  Or a lot more.

Because up until that moment, Run Fatboy Run is decent.  It isn’t great, it has moments that are good, but by and large it’s decent, thanks mostly to Pegg’s great comedic timing and the antics of his best friends.  Rarely laugh-out-loud funny, but it’ll do.  Then when Azaria does that cartoon character thing that happens in all lousy romantic comedies, the movie comes crashing down.  Why does the character that stands in the way of our hero’s happiness have to do something so cartoonishly EVIL all of a sudden, so his true colours can be seen?

Hank Azaria, at the one hour and twelve minute mark in the movie, may as well commit genocide, block out the sun, and beat the crap out of a schoolbus full of four year olds.  Run Fatboy Run doesn’t quite go that far - arming him with grenade launchers and machetes so he can cut a swath of destruction - but it might as well.  It’s a moment that really reinforces the point that this movie is exactly like every other cheesy romantic comedy.  Only worse.

Paramount Home Entertainment is releasing the complete third season of a show called Rob and Big on Tuesday, September 23rd. It’s a show about two mismatched roommates….yep. That’s about it. You see, one’s a big fat black guy. And one’s a skinny little white guy. And they have adventures…only MTV could dream up a show like this. MTV seems to be able to find two people who on their own could be mildly entertaining, and thrust them together in order to make a reality show. But someone who is mildly entertaining when you meet them at the bar does not necessarily warrant his own show. And putting him together with that other guy, who also made you smile a few times when you were drunk? Not a great idea.

But man, it must be sweet to be one of the guys picked up by MTV. Rob & Big appear to have no jobs at all. They don’t work, they don’t have any discernible source of income, yet they live in this giant mansion, complete with outdoor pool and every amenity you could dream of having. They seem to have unlimited funds, with which they can purchase lie detectors, net guns, and whatever other product they need for their next staged wacky adventure.

OK, I now see, upon looking it up on wikipedia, that Rob and Big are actually Rob Dyrdek, who is a professional skateboarder, and Christopher Boykin, his bodyguard. So MTV didn’t meet them in a bar. But that doesn’t make this show any less inexplicable. Are there enough skateboarding fans to watch simply because this guy is a skateboarder? I’m guessing now. It was cancelled after this season.

Paramount Home Entertainment is releasing, on September 23rd, Season One of a series I never knew existed until now. But it’s a great one. This American Life is a TV series based on a Chicago public radio show hosted by Ira Glass. Glass reprises his role as the host of the show for television, and he’s funny enough and serious enough to make this program bizarrely compelling. It’s a show that travels around the United States meeting interesting people. Kind of like Wayne Rostad in On The Road Again. Only funnier and more interesting. Each episode of the show centres around a particular theme, although “theme” appears to be a word used rather loosely.

From the very first story we hear on the very first episode, we’re hooked. A woman tells a story about the time she peed on the school bus when she was a little girl. It’s a great way to grab the attention of an audience, and this TV show had mine all the way through Season One. They go through slaughterhouses, visit cloned bulls, and get a behind-the-scenes look at a hot dog stand in Chicago that brings out the absolute worst in people. This show is both charming and compelling, and I’ll bet you can’t watch just one episode.

Alliance Films is releasing CSI: New York, season four, on September 23rd. And I actually believe that New York has evolved into the best of the CSI family. William Petersen as Gil Grissom on the Vegas version is vaguely creepy as the super smart father figure to the CSI team. David Caruso as Horatio Caine on the Miami version is fully creepy and completely ridiculous as the Jesus figure to the CSI team. Which means that Gary Sinise on CSI: New York, playing just a regular guy, is exactly what the whole CSI franchise needs.

The rest of the cast on CSI: New York is terrific as well. This is the best cast assembled for a CSI series, and the episodes are better as a result. Really, the plot and the writing of each CSI series is interchangeable with the other series, and so the cast really does make all the difference. Also, New York is just a more interesting city than Las Vegas, where most deaths are gambling related. And it is also more interesting than Miami, where most deaths are bikini related. Season Four is once again terrific, with guest stars like Bruce Dern and Dylan Bruce rounding out the excellent cast. Well worth picking up.

That’s it, people. You can stop buying movies for the rest of your life. Because the ultimate movie item is now on sale. As of yesterday, September 23rd, DVDs have reached perfection, when Paramount Home Entertainment released The Godfather Trilogy on Blu-Ray. The greatest movie trilogy of all time is now available in the greatest Hi-Definition format of all time. And while you may not think at first that The Godfather movies are the kind that require Blu-Ray technology, you would be wrong. There are certain classic movies where Blu-Ray is an obvious improvement over the original transfers. Dark City, or Blade Runner. Movies that started out dark and require that crisp, clear picture.

But The Godfather really does change as well. These are three movies that I have seen dozens upon dozens of times, and yet watching them in Blu-Ray was a whole new experience. When you watch the scene where James Caan gets riddled with bullets, it’s like you’re one of the guys holding a machine gun. When Luca Brasi is rehearsing his speech outside Don Corleone’s office, you feel like he’s talking directly to you, the movie watcher, about this, the day of your daughter’s wedding. And when Michael takes Fredo out for a boat ride…well. You’ll just have to see to understand. And then you will agree. DVD movies have attained perfection with the release of The Godfather Trilogy on Blu-Ray. Throw out the rest of your collection. It is ALL now obsolete.

Mike Myers is a comic genius. His ability to create memorable characters is limitless, and every movie franchise he touches turns to gold. The Scottish dad in So I Married an Axe Murderer. The big fat Scottish guy in Austin Powers. The fun, green, fat Scottish ogre in Shrek. OK…maybe he can only create memorable Scottish characters. And Wayne from Wayne’s World…and Dr. Evil.

Remember the second Austin Powers movie? How it was virtually scene-for-scene the same movie as the first? And the third one was just a lame follow-up, where it was one long recycled “British people have bad teeth” joke? With Shrek 3, Mike Myers proved once again that while his ideas start out great, they have very little staying power. Shrek 3 is one big long ogres like farting and they smell bad joke. We get it. He’s an ogre. It’s what they do. Justin Timberlake makes an appearance in the film as a would-be king whose relevance to the movie is questionable at best. Shrek is no longer the most interesting character, the donkey and the cat are now tiresome, and I started to wish I could watch the spinoff movie starring the gingerbread man. THAT guy is still funny.

Shrek 3 is not a case of too much of a good thing, it’s a case of too much of the same thing. Much like that Shrek song, All-Star, by that band Smashmouth, it gets pretty irritating the third time around. Although I will say this. The film looks absolutely amazing on Blu-Ray. The Blu-Ray edition is being released September 23rd, Tuesday, by Paramount Home Entertainment.

Pick of the week:  The Killing Gene (7/10):  A surprisingly good film in the vein of Saw and Seven.  Brutal, violent, and very well-acted.  It is relentless enough that you don’t worry about the leaps in logic or the obvious twists.
http://blog.rogersradiointernet.com/cynicalcinema/2008/09/15/the-killing-gene-out-tomorrow-surprising-710/

TV pick of the week:  Star Trek:  Alternate Realities Collective (6/10):  Worth it for the episode of the Original Series where Captain Kirk fights the evil Captain Kirk.  The best William Shatner vs. William Shatner fight this side of White Comanche.
http://blog.rogersradiointernet.com/cynicalcinema/2008/09/15/star-trek-alternate-realities-collective-out-tomorrow-610/

The Love Guru (2/10):  An absolutely dreadful also-ran “comedy” from Mike Myers.  Justin Timberlake is the funniest person in the movie.  And he isn’t all that funny.
http://blog.rogersradiointernet.com/cynicalcinema/2008/09/15/the-love-guru-out-tomorrow-210/

88 Minutes:  The latest from Al Pacino, which from all accounts is absolutely awful.  I’ve seen his hair.  That’s enough to prevent me from recommending this one.

Made of Honor:  Patrick Dempsey stars in a chick flick.  It’s like 27 Dresses, only with a man.  A lame one.

The Stone Angel (4/10):  A Canadian adaptation of Margaret Laurence’s magnificent novel.  Ellen Burstyn and Ellen Page are terrific, but the movie is not.  It’s well-made, just…really really boring.
http://blog.rogersradiointernet.com/cynicalcinema/2008/09/15/the-stone-angel-out-tomorrow-410/

Speed Racer:  The Wachowski Brothers are a very over-rated movie making team.  The Matrix series was not good.  Sorry nerds.  This movie will not be good either.

Young At Heart:  A bunch of elderly people go on tour singing Outkast songs.  This is apparently an amazingly charming and wonderful documentary.

Snow Angels:  It’s a movie about people and their relationships.  That’s bad.  It stars Kate Beckinsale.  That’s good.

CSI Miami:  Sixth Season (5/10):  This series is a comedy.  David Caruso is as hilarious as ever. 
http://blog.rogersradiointernet.com/cynicalcinema/2008/09/15/csi-miami-season-six-out-tomorrow-really-this-show-is-a-comedy-510/

Pushing Daisies:  Complete First Season:  A quirky, terrific TV series.

Criminal Minds:  Season Three (6/10):  A good series about profiling well…criminal minds.  Joe Mantegna replaces Mandy Patinkin early in this season.
http://blog.rogersradiointernet.com/cynicalcinema/2008/09/15/criminal-minds-season-three-out-tomorrow-610/

My Little Pony:  World’s Biggest Tea Party Live (2/10):  I can’t believe this exists.  A stage production of My Little Pony shot for DVD, as big stuffed ponies dance around and sing.  Just horrible.
http://blog.rogersradiointernet.com/cynicalcinema/2008/09/15/my-little-pony-worlds-biggest-tea-party-live-oh-my-pink-goodness-210/

Duckman:  Seasons One and Two (6/10):  Duckman doesn’t hold up particularly well when seen through the filter of similar TV shows over the past ten years.  But it’s still pretty funny, and demented in a Frank Zappa-inspired sort of way.
http://blog.rogersradiointernet.com/cynicalcinema/2008/09/15/duckman-seasons-one-and-two-out-tomorrow-610/

Also Out:

Another Cinderella Story
Chronicle of an Escape
The Go-Getter
Download The Go Getter
Othello
Spider-Man vs. Dr. Octopus
The World According To Monsanto
Chuck:  Complete First Season
Private Practice:  Complete First Season
Ballet Shoes
Constantine’s Sword (8/10)
Kabluey
Scooby-Doo and the Goblin King
Tortured

Out next week:

Sex And The City
Leatherheads
Deception
Run Fatboy Run
The Foot Fist Way
Copycat
Naked Fear
Boston Legal:  Season 4
Brothers And Sisters:  The Complete Second Season
Di-Gata Defenders
Grossology:  The Perfect Stink
The Price Of Sugar
Franklin and the Turtlelake Treasure
Jane and the Dragon:  A Dragon’s Tail
Samantha Who:  The Complete First Season
Rob and Big:  Complete Third Season
This American Life Season One