Cynical Cinema

The Bank Job (9/10):  Yet another Jason Statham shoot-em-up action pic, only…good.  Really, really good.

Step Up 2 the Streets:  Rebellious street dancer wins the hearts and minds of the hardcore hoods…and gets the guy…in this follow-up to the amazingly successful (considering) movie Step Up.  The only thing saving this film?  It isn’t called Step Up 2:  Tha Streets. 

Shutter:  Newlyweds uncover other-worldly imagery in their photographs after a deadly accident. Their hesitation to investigate deeper quickly manifest into warnings they should stop.  At which point you may well want to stop watching.

College Road Trip:  Martin Lawrence has recently starred in Wild Hogs, Big Momma’s House 2, National Security and Rebound.  Do we really want to see him in anything else?  Especially this?

Penelope:  Christina Ricci has a pig nose.  Even with a pig nose, she is still blazingly hot.  After watching Black Snake Moan, she could have a cauliflower ear, two lazy eyes, six missing teeth, a pig nose and a massive neck-goiter and still be blazingly hot.

Sleepwalking (5/10):  Charlize Theron is a disillusioned single mother who abandons her 12-year-old daughter to the care of her shiftless younger brother James.  The involvement of Theron and Woody Harrelson is good, but Dennis Hopper is a cartoon Evil Dad.

Asylum:  Six college students discover that their dorm room was once an insane asylum where people were tortured and…wait, sorry.  Six college co-eds discover that…ah forget it.

Invisible Target (6/10):  A renegade cop, a young officer, and a veteran detective are thrown together to try to take down Hong Kong’s most lethal mercenary gang and their ruthless leader.  These Dragon Dynasty pictures have been quite good of late, even if they always involve a “renegade cop”.

Journey to the Centre of the Earth:  A quickie movie made in Canada to complement the release of the big-ass 3D blockbuster this weekend.

Evening Shade Season One (6/10):  Burt Reynolds is surprisingly not-awful in this sitcom from the early 90s.

Reno 9-11 Season Five (6/10):  A show which tries to jump the shark with every successive episode, but hasn’t managed to become irrelevant or unfunny yet.  Despite it’s best efforts.

Also out:

Bratz Interactive:  Lil’ Bratz Party Time
Trapped Ashes
The Boys and Girls Guide to Getting Down
Insanitarium
30 Days

Next week:

21
Paranoid Park
My Blueberry Nights
Delirious
Robot Chicken:  Star Wars
Picture This
Shark Swarm (2/10)
Spaced:  The Complete Series
Bone Dry
Chaotic Ana
Cut Off
Emotional Arithmetic
The Hammer
Turn The River
Transformers Cybertron:  The Ultimate Collection (3/10)

This entry was posted on Monday, July 14th, 2008 at 4:15 am and is filed under New DVD releases. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.