New releases Tuesday June 10th
Jumper (5/10): The always-wooden Hayden Christensen teams up with the will-work-for-beer-nuts Samuel L. Jackson in a film about a guy who “jumps” through time and space. It’s not terrible, but….
The Bucket List (3/10): I know for a fact that this is terrible. Because I watched it. And I’m fairly angry that I did. Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman are great together, but the movie around them is abysmal.
The Other Boleyn Girl: Scarlett Johanssen and Natalie Portman, together? In the same movie? Awesome…but then I also thought The Black Dahlia was going to be great with Scarlett Johanssen and Hilary Swank. And it sucked.
Fatal Contact (6/10): Hong Kong Kung-Fu, with some decent action scenes. Underground fights are nothing new to the world of martial arts movies, but these are decently filmed and the movie is surprisingly moving.
Witless Protection: Larry the Cable Guy. The witness protection program. Ugh.
Crusing Bar (3/10): Some of the worst subtitles I have ever seen on a movie. Get this only if you are francophone. Even then, I wouldn’t really recommend it.
Smiley Face: The always-entertaining John Krasinski and Anna Farris team up for a comedy where a girl gets really stoned and walks around. There might be more plot but…who cares.
Comedy Central’s Home Grown (5/10): A series of vignettes, skits, and full episodes of Comedy Central programming that are predicated on the idea that people who smoke weed like nothing more than to watch other people doing the same.
The Grand: Woody Harrelson is a gambler. Cheryl Hines (Curb Your Enthusiasm) co-stars. Everyone wins. Or doesn’t.
American Gangster Season Two (9/10): Real-life African American crime figures get biographical, documentary treatment in an excellent show from BET. Ving Rhames narrates. Season Two includes the guy who inspired The Wire, and Frank Lucas from the movie American Gangster.
Timber Falls: Young hot girl goes to the woods…there’s evil in the woods…stop me if you’ve heard this one before…
The Odd Couple Season Four (6/10): A solid TV show before all the odd-couple I’m-clean and you’re-dirty jokes ran out. They are beginning to run out in season four.
The List: Dangerous blood oaths in the confederate army lead to dangerous doings 140 years later. Malcolm McDowell is somehow involved.
The Fugitive Season Two (7/10): It would have been nice to see more continuity and continuing story lines, but the episodes themselves remain as good as ever.
Alive or Dead: Horror movie involving hot girls and a school bus.
Hawaii Five-O Season Four (6/10): This show was ridiculous, but stands up as a campy and hilarious blueprint that actors like David Caruso have used to their advantage in later years. Dated, cheesy, but loads of fun.
Also out:
Impy’s Island
The Signal
The Planet
Super High Me
Wieners