New Releases Tuesday, May 20th, 2008.
National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets: If you liked the first one, you are likely a poor judge of quality in movies. And if you are a poor judge of quality in movies, then perhaps you will like this sequel as well. Look for Nicholas Cage to continue sucking.
Strange Wilderness (2/10): All of Adam Sandler’s friends get together, yet again, to make yet another movie based on a script written by seven-year-olds. Poop and fart jokes, and animals attacking people. Garbage.
The Air I Breathe: Forest Whitaker, Kevin Bacon, Emile Hirsch and Andy Garcia are cool. Sarah Michelle Gellar and Brendan Fraser are not. Which means that based on the cast, there are 2/3rds of a reason to watch.
Diary of the Dead (7/10): For all the zombie fanatics who couldn’t get enough of the Romero movies (Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead, Land of the Dead…noticing a theme here?) This one stands up with the rest.
The Walker: Cool cast including Ned Beatty, Lauren Bacall, Woody Harrelson, Willem Dafoe, and Kristen Scott Thomas. Political thriller, could be very good.
Penn and Teller: Bullshit! Season Five (7/10): A fairly decent TV show that takes on some of the most cherished myths in the world with the humour and insight of Penn and Teller, who are famous magicians.
National Lampoon presents: Cattle Call: Another franchise that can seemingly churn out movies at will, just like Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison company. I guess anyone could make forty movies a year if you didn’t care whether any of them were good.
Exes and Ohs Complete First Season (5/10): Lesbian sit-com starring lots of hot chicks. Yeah…but it sounds a lot better than it is. Smacks of Canadian, and pushes no envelopes.
Who’s Your Monkey: Over the course of a single night, four childhood friends kill a drug dealer, rescue animals, dispose of a dead body and discover the unbreakable bonds of friendship. This film is a hilarious, irreverent, heartfelt comedy full of laughs, surprises and a lot of monkey business! And…it stars Newman from Seinfeld. Whee.
Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. Season Four (4/10): Not only did this show exist, it apparently had at least four seasons! What is your major malfunction, Private Pyle?!
Grindstone Road: The inimitable Fairuza Balk stars in a movie where she is either haunted by ghosts, or she is losing her mind! Uh-oh!
Short Circuit: That 1986 movie, with the cute little robot that does cute little stuff with cute little Steve Gutenberg. Finally released onto DVD! After SUCH a long wait!
Darkest Hour
Sight
Vexille
Hannah Takes The Stairs
They Wait
And now, some dots I can’t seem to get rid of.
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