The Office Slacker
Tuesday, August 26th, 2008
The Office Slacker. Every workplace has one. In fact, I work quite closely with ours. I don’t want to rat him out or anything, but his name rhymes with “deaf” - which is exactly what he is whenever you try to get his attention for work-related projects. If you’re offering free beer, though, his auditory issues dissipate. I believe that’s called ”selective hearing”, but I digress. 
Marie Claire recently published a list of ways to slack off at work without discovery and - consequently - repercussion. Re-printed below are three of my favourites:
- Get Some Air: If you just need to stretch your legs and get out of the office for a bit, offer to do a coffee run or drop off mail for your co-workers. This way, your extended break actually crowns you the office hero. Helpful hint: if you offer up a late coffee run around 4:30pm, you’re less likely to have to juggle 8 cups of Starbucks on your way back.
- Stay Messy: A messy desk screams “busy bee” to anyone in your workspace. Keep piles of paper, old newspapers, and errant office supplies lying around to maintain the idea that you’re important and always busy. People will see the mess and feel bad about giving you any extra work to do.
- Prepare Props: If you’re the kind of person who finds it impossible to arrive on time, try the coffee-and-muffin trick. Before you leave at night, keep your computer on and put a cup of coffee and a half-eaten muffin at your desk. You’ll beat even the earliest bird in.
Have you tried any of these? Do you have any other tips for slackers? Or perhaps you’re on to someone at work and would like to share the behaviour you have observed. Feel free to do so by clicking on the No Comments/Comments link below. Your Jack Nation bonus code today is SLACKER. Unlike your cubicle mate, it’s working hard until August 28th.