Become Fluent in Body Language
Body language can speak volumes and often it’s saying things we don’t mean to communicate. According to AOL, here’s what you need to know to become fluent in body language - other people’s and your own.
WHAT YOUR BODY LANGUAGE SAYS ABOUT YOU
- Body Language Says: Shifty eyes that avoid eye contact with others.
What Others See and Hear: A lack of eye contact hinders your ability to create a connection with the person or people you’re speaking with. This oversight gives others few reasons to trust you and your ideas. - Body Language Says: Arms crossed in front of your body, holding your torso tight.
What Others See and Hear: Crossed arms make you appear guarded, unapproachable, and on the defense, as though you have something to hide from the people in the room with you. If you’re having trouble relaxing your arms, try folding them neatly in your lap instead of across your chest. - Body Language Says: A broad grin showing all of your pearly whites.
What Others See and Hear: A smiling face suggests that you are eager, confident, and pleasant to work with. However, be careful to not smile too much when talking about serious subjects, as your grin might suggest that you aren’t taking the discussion seriously enough. - Body Language Says: Fidgeting, tapping, or shaking incessantly.
What Others See and Hear: If you can’t remain still in a meeting or conversation, your constant movements make you look uncomfortable with yourself and others, which can cause a domino effect making other people in the room uncomfortable as well. - Body Language Says: A stance as strong as an oak-tree.
What Others See and Hear: Great posture suggests that you are confident, can lead well, are trustworthy, and are rooted in your beliefs. Just make sure that your excellent posture isn’t negated by a stiff, immobile upper body. - Body Language Says: Legs wide open, arms stretched out, taking up lots of space.
What Others See and Hear: You’re clearly comfortable with yourself and don’t mind being noticed, but taking up too much space in a small room can be perceived as thoughtless and arrogant. Furthermore, your casual stance may limit the ability of others to take you as seriously as you might like. - Body Language Says: Leaning towards the person who is talking.
What Others See and Hear: A subtle lean towards the individual who is presenting indicates that you are a gracious listener and are interested and respectful of that the other person has to say. - Body Language Says: A shirttail out, a missing button, and other slovenly behaviors.
What Others See and Hear: You can’t expect people to take you seriously if you don’t take the time to put yourself together properly. A quick check in the mirror and a change of shirt could make or break your career trajectory in many fields.
Is there any body language that you would add to this list? Do you know someone whose mannerisms are distracting? I find people who fidget end up making me nervous. I just can’t concentrate when someone has a restless leg, for example. Sometimes I cross my arms, but it’s not because I’m unapproachable - it’s simply because I’m cold (temperature wise, not unemotional). Do you agree with the list? Post your thoughts by clicking on the No Comments/Comments link below. Today’s Jack Nation bonus code is BODYLANGUAGE. It’s valid until July 17th.
July 16th, 2008 at 6:04 am
Hi Carly,
Yes i would agree with the points you made about body language.
I’m in sales & marketing so when i’m in a meeting or making a presentation I’m always checking the audience for clues to see if they are understanding the material or if they are drifting off and i need to change gears or even cut the meeting short.
My previous boss would pride himself on being very passionate about our company and our products but he would always go 800 miles a minute in his presentations and would neglect to check to see that his audience was getting peeved and fidgety at his lack of respect for their time. many of them told me that they were so happy when he retired.
I once read that if you are interviewing for a job they make up their mind about you in about 11 seconds! I guess it pays to shine your shoes and have a firm but not bone-crushing handshake eh?
Have a great day and enjoy the warm weather while it lasts.
Carly’s Note: I totally agree! Knowing how to read your audience is essential. When planning a presentation, know ahead of time what you can skip over if you’re losing them or what you can elaborate on creatively if they’re really into it.
July 17th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Hey Carly! What about this? Guys crossing their legs like girls. A very common scene in Japan. Or is the situation worse than I thought? I went to a job interview (in Japan) and the interviewer asked me to have a seat so did I. I crossed my legs (not like a girl) while waiting, until he returned and asked me to move on into his office to have the interview started. What was the first thing he said?! “I emu sori tu shei zato bato you kenoto shito curoshingu youa regusu raiku zato?” (READ TRANSLATION AT THE END OF THIS POSTING).
#2 of hundreds - my Japanese co-worker coughs every 30 seconds whenever I am around.
#3 of hundreds - looking at nothing when talking to someone.
#4 of hundreds - bad smell (salive) - this one is very funny! Really! I remember seeing a famous US band on a japanese music channel saying at the end of the interview “…and Japanese fans… B-R-U-S-H Y-O-U-R T-E-E-T-H !!!” then I realised I wans’t the only one feeling like an alien up here. (PS: still this week I saw a Japanese VJ giving the very same advice again. There seem to be a unofficial preventive campaign going on here!)
#5 - my kiwi friend always have his favourite mags pretty well protected in his plastic bags whenever we go out (is that becouse we are i Japan?)
(TRANSLATION: “I’m sorry to say that but you cannot sit crossing you legs like that?) Like that? (like a male?) So, after that I decided not to cross my legs any way when getting in their domains for an interview.
PS: NO RACISM THOUGHTS HERE! ANYONE ANYWHERE COULD BE WEIRD.
STOP THE WAR! STOP RACISM! BUT BRUSH YOUR TEETH!
Carly’s Note: Brushing teeth is a hygiene issue and the coughing co-worker could have an allergy to your clothes detergent, but everything else sounds like cultural differences to me. Maybe crossing your legs as you say “like a man” is considered rude or a “come on” in Japan because your crotch is on display (hopefully you were at least wearing pants :-). In some cultures, looking someone in the eye is considered disrespectful, especially if you’re considered to have higher status in that society. I travelled to Morocco a few years back and had to constantly remind myself not to offer items (food, payment, whatever) with my left hand to the locals. It may seem ridiculous to us, but it’s offensive to them and we have to respect that. I guess the lesson is, “when in Rome, do as the Romans do”.