How to Say “No”
Tuesday, June 17th, 2008 
Do you have a hard time saying “no”? I’m not a martyr, so I usually don’t mind declining if I have good reason to, but sometimes I have a hard time phrasing it in a way that won’t elicit questions or worse - pestering! According to Glamour, here are some different ways to respond in the negative:
- I’m just going to have to pass.
- I’d love to, but I just don’t have the time.
- I made a resolution to start saying ‘no’ more often.
- I don’t want to say ‘yes’ and then let you down.
- I’d love to, but my boyfriend/kids/boss would freak out if I took on anything else.
- Not right now.
- Not this year.
- You caught me at a terrible moment.
- I can’t say ‘yes.’
- I don’t want to say ‘no,’ but I have to.
- I’m just not comfortable with that.
- It’s just not right for me.
- Ask another time.
- Please cross me off your list.
Some of these might work on the phone, but not necessarily in person. I wouldn’t want to say “ask another time” unless it’s truly about timing and not that I don’t ever want to do it. Blaming it on someone else is cowardly, but if it works it can be a necessary evil. I also like bringing up comfort level because saying you’re uncomfortable usually makes the person making the request feel awkward and immediately shuts down the interaction. In rare instances, especially if that person is rude or stupid, s/he will ask why it makes you uncomfortable, which just makes the whole situation even more unpleasant!
Do you have a hard time saying “no” in general? Are there specific people you can’t say “no” to? What do you find is the most effective way to do it, other than using four letter words or slamming the door in someone’s face? Have your say by clicking on the No Comments/Comments link at the bottom. Today’s Jack Nation bonus code is JUSTSAYNO. It’s valid until June 19th.