Nosy Neighbours
It’s finally that time of year - the flowers are out, the birds have returned and after the long winter we had, the neighbours have emerged from hibernation. The people who live next door to you can be a godsend or the bane of your existence. Thenest.com has categorized those who fit into the latter:
HOW TO SPOT A PROBLEM NEIGHBOUR
The Type: The Kramers
- How to Spot ‘Em: It’s nice when they welcome you to the neighborhood with a pie. It’s a lot less nice when they stop by every evening wondering what’s for dinner.
- How to Handle ‘Em: Decide how much access you’re willing to grant them. If you’re like Jerry Seinfeld, you can handle people who barge in whenever they feel like it and ask intrusive questions, welcoming them with open arms. If you need privacy, politely set boundaries from the beginning to avoid any misunderstandings.
The Type: The Sticklers
- How to Spot ‘Em: Your housewarming party may have gone later than expected…but you were still surprised when the cops showed up in response to all those complaints (every one of which, strangely, came from the same home).
- How to Handle ‘Em: Ask yourselves, “Am I being a bad neighbor?” Your neighbors deserve peace and quiet late at night and early in the morning. But you still have the right to enjoy your property. If you have multiple run-ins with the same neighbors, make a point of talking to them before your next bash (inviting them to join in the fun may make them more reluctant to contact the authorities).
The Type: The Bickersons
- How to Spot ‘Em: While they look like such a happy couple, it doesn’t sound that way when they’re shrieking at each other at four in the morning.
- How to Handle ‘Em: There are few things more awkward than getting involved in someone else’s relationship; however, there’s also something to be said for sleep. Don’t confront them at the time, but the day after a particularly bad incident, stop by and say, “I’m sorry to bring this up, but is everything okay? We heard shouting last night.” Hopefully this will embarrass them into being on better behavior (or even seeking counseling).
Type: The Old Schoolers
- How to Spot ‘Em: Remember Frank the Tank from Old School? This type of neighbor also makes a lot of noise at night, but these sounds are a whole lot happier. Every summer night is an excuse for a pool party (and every winter night is an excuse for hot tubbing).
- How to Handle ‘Em: There’s a chance they genuinely don’t realize how loud they are, so call and politely ask them to keep the noise down (or to shift the action inside at a certain hour). If they don’t comply, call the police about their disturbing the peace or look into soundproofing. Or, if you feel like reliving your glory days, you could always join ‘em!
The Type: The Slobs
- How to Spot ‘Em:You knew when you bought the place that you weren’t moving next to Martha Stewart, but you thought it’d be nice if they mowed the lawn once in a while. Now their yard is strewn with random vehicles and blow-up Santas (and it’s not even Christmas!).
- How to Handle ‘Em: If you’re on good terms, talk to them and express your concerns. If they had been neat and suddenly are letting things go, it may be worth checking to see if they have any health or other problems. If things are already tense between you, contact your block association to see if they’re in violation of any codes — then let the organization take it from there (the one time it might be okay to be passive-aggressive!).
The Type: The Anal Retentives
- How to Spot ‘Em: They walk the fence and obsess over how your bushes spill over on to their immaculately maintained yard…but the thing is you’re pretty sure it’s all on your turf.
- How to Handle ‘Em: Nip this in the bud immediately. All of you should walk the property line together so you can agree on exactly where it lies. If there’s still a disparity, call in a surveyor to settle it permanently.
The Type: The Jerks
- How to Spot ‘Em: Things got off on the wrong foot from the day you moved in, and it’s been downhill from there. Whenever you reach out to them, you just wind up mad at yourself for bothering to make the effort.
- How to Handle ‘Em: Sadly, there are some people who simply weren’t meant to be your pals. If they’re malicious or doing something illegal, report it. Otherwise, make all interactions brief and civil and be glad you get along better with your other neighbors.
Do you live next to Ned Flanders or Fred Sanford? Share your experiences (and how you dealt with them) by clicking on the No Comments/Comments link below. Today’s Jack Nation bonus code is NOSYNEIGHBOUR. It won’t bring you fresh-baked cookies, but it will bring you some Jack Nation points until June 18th.
June 16th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
No Ned’s or Fred’s, but there’s a couple that lives on my floor, that faces the parking lot, and somehow they always “appear” when I’m going anywhere in my car. There is however a family of gargoyles across from my apartment in the other building, hand to god those people are ALWAYS on their balcony havin’ a smoke and checkin’ out the scenery.
My other b.f.f., is, well, Glady Kravitz - remember her from Bewitched? “Abnah, look Abhnah”…she is THE curtain twitcher, nosy so and so. Fully admits it and her child, mini-b.f.f. is exactly the same.
Lee Ann
Carly’s Note: I love it when the parent sends the child over to get the scoop! I guess some people just can’t help themselves.
June 16th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Hi Carly,
My expriences with my neighbors have been great. When I bought my first house in Brampton, I had nothing that I owned in the way of exterior maintenance. ( ie lawnmower, hedgetrimmer, weedwacker, rake and other assorted power tools) Well, my new neighbors reached out to me and supplied me with all the implements that I needed to maintain my new home. We became the best of friends ( 12 of us) many a summer night up late, great history and fond memories. There will never be a way that I can pay them back. I now own a brand new house in Brampton. Complete with a new set of great neighbors. Since i can never pay back my former neighbors I have the opportunity to pay it forward. ( great message from the movie with the same title). We now have a great strong bond with our new friends and neighbors. Except for one moron down the street who thinks it`s ok to hire a live dj and invite over 200 guests to a house warming party. (complete wit a port a potty on the driveway).
Any how, that`s my story , maybe others can get something from paying it forward.
Sincerely, John D.
p.s. ROCK IS DEAD (paper and scissors rule)
Carly’s Note: The neighbours probably let you borrow those implements because they got tired of looking at your unkempt yard! Just kidding.
Good neighbours are a blessing and I know what you mean by pay it forward. I hope the party animal on your block at least had decency to invite the nighbourhood, too, if he was going to keep everyone awake anyway with his music and rowdy guests.
June 17th, 2008 at 5:30 am
Hi Carly,
I used to live next door to the Bickersons in my condo building but they weren’t arguing but having sex really loudly. The bed posts would bang so loudly and she was a screamer too.
My girlfriend and i would wake up in the middle of the night to all this noise and it was getting to be a problem until one day i noticed that the husband’s car was no longer there. The lady told me that her and husband had split.
About 4-5 years ago when i was still married my wife met a few other ladies in our building and they would go for smoke breaks together in our front lobby.
The breaks would get longer and longer and eventually they would be gone every night for a several hours starting from right after dinner. All the husbands banded together and confronted our wives that this was getting a little ridiculous as we would get very little quality time with our wives.
The wives reluctantly agreed and some moderation was restored and all was right again in the world.
Have a great day Carly.
Carly’s Note: Talk about the shoe being on the other foot. It used to be the men who would disappear with their buddies for hours on end. Are you sure they weren’t running a “bakery” like on that show Weeds?