Afternoon Drive with Jeff & Carly

I have never understood collections that aren’t practical - china dolls that sit on a shelf and are never played with, plates that hang on a wall and are never used to serve food, for example.  I realize that these items are to be admired and can potentially increase in value, but most collectors don’t want to part with them, so they’ll never reap that reward.  (Grateful relatives might after the collector has passed on, though.)

I have a friend who brings back a shell from every beach she visits, which is a cool way to remember your travels.  I do understand record collections as long as you play them, car collections as long as you drive them, and shoe collections as long as you wear them. 

I have a penchant for shoes.  At last check, which was almost 4 years ago, I owned 46 pairs.  I’m sure it’s more than that now, since I seem to follow the “donate one pair and buy two” rule.  I should stipulate, though, that part of my footwear fetish is getting a great deal.  I only pay full price if it’s well under $100.  I have the odd pair of Kenneth Cole shoes, but I’m probably averaging about $25/pair. 

Shoes make me happy because I like my feet.  I enjoy foot massages and pedicures.  If I gain weight, my shoes still fit and still look good.

What do you collect?  Do you know someone who has a collection that is strange or out of control?  There are some people who are addicted and you can barely move in their homes because of their collections - not good.  Share your thoughts by using the No Comments/Comments link below.  Today’s Jack Nation bonus code is FOOTWEAR.  It’s valid until midnight on February 17th. 

There’s a woman from California who remembers everything, and I don’t just mean every birthday or anniversary her husband forgot (just kidding, guys - sort of).  I mean she can recall almost every day of her 42 years on this planet!  Her initials are AJ and she describes her life as a “running movie that never stops”.  While her memory isn’t photographic, she does remember exact events, like a tax initiative passed on June 6, 1978 and a plane crash on May 25, 1979.

This got me thinking about my earliest memories.  There are no pictures in our family photo albums of this event, yet I have a snapshot in my mind of a cottage my parents took me to before my brother was born.  When I told my mom about it, she said I would have been about two years old.  I just remember the cottage and the lake, though, I don’t remember people or any activities.

Another early memory I recall vividly is the arrival of my brother when I was three.  I guess I remember it well because I had been an only child up to that point.  That, and I told everyone he was a girl.  I remember my dad taking me to the hospital to visit my mom and then we went to see Christopher.  Someone lifted me up so I could see him through the window.  All the babies looked the same to me and they looked nothing like my dolls - they were purple-faced and squishy!  I was more enthralled with the baby in the “aquarium” (incubator) across the hall.  Of course, I learned to love my baby brother… in time.

Do you know anyone with a memory like this woman AJ?  What is your earliest memory?  Feel free to use the No Comments/Comments link below.  Today’s Jack Nation bonus code is MEMORY.  It’s good until midnight on Feb. 16th.

This year is the 25th anniversary of the release of Michael Jackson’s Thriller.  You can Say, Say, Say (that duet is actually on Paul McCartney’s album, I know) what you want about Wacko Jacko these days, but you can’t argue how huge that record was - 27 times platinum in the U.S. alone.

I received the album for Christmas. I had asked for Elton John’s Too Low for Zero, but my parents couldn’t find it.  I was quite happy with their substitution, though.  Not only was the music awesome, but Michael looked so cool in that white suit, and when you opened up the cover, you saw that he had a tiger cub on his leg.  Hot!

I haven’t heard Thriller 25: The Deluxe Anniversary Edition with contributions from Fergie and Will.i.am.  They’re extremely talented, I know, but somehow I doubt they can hold a candle to the original collaborators: Paul McCartney on “The Girl is Mine”, the late, great Vincent Price on “Thriller”, and Eddie Van Halen on “Beat It”.  I still feel the urge to hit the dance floor when I hear that tune or “Billie Jean” at a wedding.  

Here’s what music critic Rashod D. Ollison remembers about Thriller:

I was cool just for a day.  Any other time, my classmates, most of whom were suburban white kids, ignored me. But on that spring day in second grade when I brought in Michael Jackson’s Thriller LP for show-and-tell, seemingly everybody in class wanted to be my best friend. Some gladly sat near me at lunch and invited me to play at recess, which had never happened before. Even as I waited for the school bus that morning, standing alongside the potty-mouthed brats who lived in the projects with me, I was king.  “Look! He got Thriller!”

(To read the rest of Ollison’s trip down memory lane, click HERE.)

What did you think of the record?  Did you own the album?  (Come on, admit it!)  Do you think it stands the test of time?  Leave your thoughts by clicking on the No Comments/Comments link below.  Today’s Jack Nation bonus code is BEATIT.  It’s valid until midnight on Feb. 15th. 

February 14th is just around the corner and although I like the idea of Valentine’s Day, I have some issues with the way we celebrate it in modern times.

First of all, Valentine’s Day is primarily about love, not sex.  Yes, sex can be a part of love, but sex and love are not synonymous (I don’t care what your high school boyfriend told you).  Yet everywhere I turn, I see images of women in merry widows with “come hither” expressions - even on the front of the Hudson’s Bay flyer!

I’m not a prude, but how about some other images of love, just to mix it up a bit?  I guess the platonic love you feel for a child, a parent or a friend just don’t sell like sex. 

Which brings me to my next point.  You’d think that the promise of sex would have guys anticipating Valentine’s Day with the same fervour as the Stanley Cup finals, but that’s simply not the case.  More often than not, I hear from men how Valentine’s Day is nothing more than a commercial holiday.  They feel forced to spend money to demonstrate their love when, according to these guys, they express their love every day.  Any holiday can be turned into a commercial holiday, including Christmas.  It’s how you choose to observe it that dictates the true meaning.  No money for a card?  Write her a poem or simply a letter expressing why she’s important to you.  Can’t afford a 5 star meal?  Cook her dinner and eat it picnic-style in front of a roaring fire.  These suggestions require some planning, though, and perhaps that’s the real issue.  As for expressing your love every day, very few of us say the words as often as we should.

I have fond memories of Valentine’s Day.  Every year, my mom would bake a heart-shaped chocolate cake with pink icing.  It was fun to decorate cookies and make cards at school and exchange them with classmates.  In fact, I still enjoy choosing thoughtful Valentines for those closest to me.

Which side of the VD debate are you on?  Great memories?  Too commercial?  Any particular traditions or gifts you want to share?  Have your say by using the No Comments/Comments link below.  Today’s Jack Nation bonus code (valid until Feb.14th) is VD for Valentine’s Day… or venereal disease.  Take your pick.

This is not an overabundance of garbage in Napoleon’s Garden, Holland Park, London, England.  It’s a contemporary sculpture named after Saddam Hussein’s first wife Sajida Talfah.  Made from an oil drum, cable wheels, cardboard boxes, paint and tape, the sculpture has been confusing members of the public strolling through the park.  One 25-year-old woman summed it up as follows - “It looks like someone has tried to wrap up a package very poorly and stuck it in the middle of the garden. It’s not my idea of art.”

Now I realize that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I would be upset to know that council had dropped $4000 CDN on what is literally a piece of trash.  It clashes with the serene surroundings and frankly, is an eyesore.  Public art doesn’t have to be traditional or conservative, but it shouldn’t go out of its way to resemble something that might attract vermin, either.

Have you ever misinterpreted something - art, clothing, a comment - as a joke, only to discover that the intentions behind it were serious?  What do you think of the sculpture?  Have your say by clicking on the No Comments/Comments link below.  As for what Sajida thinks of the art named in her honour, well, it’s unlikely we’ll ever know.  In 2006, she was placed on Iraq’s most wanted list and hasn’t been heard from since.

Today’s Jack Nation bonus code is JUNKART.  It’s valid until midnight on February 12th.

Ice Chunks from Airplane Lavatory

A few days ago, I wrote about the above-and-beyond stupid things some people do when they’ve had too much to drink (see The Booze Made Me Do It!).  Today’s posting is a little different, though.  It’s about freak accidents.

Maybe you heard this story.  A Calgary woman was talking on the phone in her bedroom the other day when chunks of ice came crashing through the roof, narrowly missing her.  The three 15-centimetre ice chunks (see photo above) came from an airplane washroom and were made up of toilet water, antifreeze, disinfectant and human waste.

The Transportation Safety Board says aircraft are not permitted to discharge the lavatory contents while in flight, but sometimes warm air can cause melting and consequently, a tank malfunction.  The Board is going to track down the plane in question to alert the operator that there’s a problem.  Transport Canada doesn’t even keep stats on these types of incidents because they occur so infrequently.  Thankfully, no one was hurt.

Has something this bizarre happened to you, either a freak accident or a near miss?  I once stepped out of the path of an overhead planter seconds before it came crashing down.  It was rather large in diametre and had recently been watered.  The extra weight of the water caused the bolt to give.  I don’t know that it would have killed m, but it ptobably would have knocked me out cold.  Feel free to post your anecdotes by clicking on the No Comments/Comments link below.  Today’s Jack Nation bonus code is FREAKACCIDENTS.  It’s valid until midnight on Feb. 10th.    

I get a hug from Tom Cochrane - Oct. 2006

If you were at the Tom Cochrane and John Mellencamp show last night, you’ll know exactly what I mean when I say the night had a Gospel feel to it.  Both performers do an incredible job, not only covering a wide range of heartfelt themes in their music - love, nostalgia, loss, despair, salvation - but also engaging the audience.  Never before has the ACC felt so small to me.  Adding to that intimate feel were the Toronto references.  Tom talked about growing up in Etobicoke, the Leafs, spending summers in Northern Ontario, and even our rivalry with Vancouver.  John joked about us being tough because we trudged through the snow to get to the show.  Additionally, he flashed images of our city during Small Town, including the Horseshoe Tavern and Steve’s Music Store.

Also worth noting were Ken Greer of Red Ryder on slide guitar for Cochrane and violinist Miriam Sturm who supported Mellencamp.  The subtlety of their contributions take the songs you know and love to an almost ethereal level.

What did you think of the show?  Have you experienced another double bill that blew your mind?  I’d love to hear what you think.  Feel free to leave your comments in the section below.  Today’s Jack Nation bonus code is TOMJOHN.  It will net you points until midnight on Feb. 9th.

Chris Foster with X-ray and Key

We have all done things we shouldn’t have done on account of having one too many wobbly pops - called an old flame, told off an annoying in-law, eaten a whole carton of ice cream.  But very few can lay claim to something as stupid as this guy…

Chris Foster was out drinking with his buddies and when his friends realized it was probably time to take Chris home, Chris swallowed his key so he could keep on partying.  A bystander attempted to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre, but since the would-be reveller wasn’t choking, it was to no avail.  The group of friends then tried to induce vomiting, but that didn’t work, either.  They let Chris sleep it off on the couch before taking him to hospital the next day.  After an x-ray proved that he had indeed swallowed a 2 inch key, the doctors decided the best course of action would be to let the moron pass it naturally.  Chris and his key were reunited 31 hours later.

Have you, uh, I mean, “your friends” ever done anything this crazy?  Please feel free to entertain us by using the Comments/Reply section below.  Today’s Jack Nation bonus code is KEYEDUP.  Make sure you enter it before midnight on Feb. 8th.

It’s Mardi Gras - time to stuff your face and then fast for 40 days!  Woo hoo!  More flapjacks, please, Aunt Jemima!

It’s also Super Tuesday in the U.S., with voters in two dozen states either going to the polls or caucus today.  I came across a list of tunes that presidential candidates are using on the campaign trail, so I thought I’d share them with you:

John McCain has replaced Johnny B. Goode by Chuck Berry with Abba’s Take a Chance on Me.  Bad move, Johnny.  You’re taking a chance, alright.

Hillary Clinton has been using American Girl by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.  Good call, not only because it’s a great song, but also because that was the tune that kicked off the halftime show at Super Bowl.

Barack Obama was spinning Stevie Wonder’s Signed, Sealed, Delivered, but he recently replaced it with Lovely Day by Bill Withers.

What do you think of these tunes?  Do you think they’re good choices?  What would you pick?  If I were running, I’d choose something a little edgier, like The Who’s Won’t Get Fooled Again or Right Now by Van Halen or maybe even Revolution by The Beatles.  Have your say in the Comments/Reply section below.

Today’s Jack Nation bonus code is MAPLESYRUP to go with your pancakes, of course!  Enjoy.  It’s valid until midnight on Feb. 7th. 

First of all, I want to apologize for using phallic photos in back-to-back blog postings.  Normally, I’d post something warm and fuzzy - let’s say a heart-warming pet story - between two posts of a sexual nature.  But since the Super Bowl was yesterday, I figured this was timely.

Ever since the “wardrobe malfunction” involving Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson’s breast a few years back, we’ve been subjected to “safer” halftime shows at Super Bowl.  Or have we?  The photo above is the opening of Prince’s performance last year.  Some viewers called it “Penisgate”, in honour of 2004’s “Nipplegate”.

So, what would you call this?

It’s the opening of this year’s Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers set - an arrow heading straight for a heart.  That is an arrow, right?

Is it intentionally suggestive?  I think so, like many aspects of rock’n roll (let’s say three-quarters of AC/DC’s lyrics).  The point - no pun intended - is that it’s not overt.  You can watch the halftime show with an 8 year-old and s/he would only see a Valentine’s reference.

Did you watch the halftime show?  Did you enjoy it?  Did you catch this phallic reference or do you think people are reading too much into it?  Leave your thoughts in the Comments section below.  Today’s Jack Nation bonus code is ARROW.  It’s good until midnight on February 5th, so don’t forget to type it in once you’ve signed into your account at www.925jackfm.com.